Jack Wil­shere has an­noyed his next-doors by erect­ing a fence. A fence? Is that all? Th­ese play­ers up­set the lo­cals for far worse rea­sons

Australian Four Four Two - - UPFRONT -

“Do you know what time it is?”

In re­tire­ment, Aus­tralia’s 1974 World Cup cap­tain Peter Wil­son wanted to live in ob­scu­rity. With one ex­cep­tion. The tough-as-nails ex-Soc­ceroos skip­per loved tak­ing his prized mo­tor­bike for a spin, much to the an­noy­ance of the lo­cals near Wol­lon­gong in New South Wales. Wil­son was as un­com­pro­mis­ing in his re­sponse as he was on the pitch, sim­ply revving his Chop­per louder (and later) at night. Wisely, his neigh­bours left him in peace. Even if they weren’t get­ting any them­selves.

If you build it, they will come and moan

“It’s very loud and very an­noy­ing,” com­plained an Alder­ley Edge res­i­dent in 2011 af­ter work be­gan on rip­ping down a bun­ga­low to make way for a six-storey man­sion for then-Manch­ester City de­fender Joleon Lescott. “It’s quite ex­cit­ing for my son, who’s a City fan, but we’re in­dif­fer­ent,” huffed an­other. Pre­sum­ably there was room for a $250,000 Mercedes on the drive­way.

Camels on the loose!

When Kuwait re­serve keeper Adam Mar­jan’s camels es­caped from his front yard while he was on World Cup duty at Spain 82, his neigh­bours got the hump. Af­ter defe­cat­ing in some lo­cal gar­dens, the hoofed in­vaders were rounded up, be­fore the coun­cil de­manded Mar­jan keep his pets on a tighter leash. Easy for you to say.

All dolled up with nowhere to go

In 2010, then-Derby goal­keeper Stephen By­wa­ter – now at Bur­ton Al­bion – was forced to cover up a bizarre piece of mod­ern art in his gar­den, fea­tur­ing a por­ta­ble toi­let, a mat­tress, a horse­box cov­ered in graf­fiti and a blow-up doll. One lo­cal res­i­dent called the fear­some fea­ture “ab­hor­rent”, which seems a rea­son­able de­scrip­tion. By­wa­ter said sorry and later flogged it on eBay. Maybe he’d come to his senses and de­cided that he thought it was a load of tat, too.

Lord Bendt­ner is shown the door

“We thought the door was stuck, so we tried to open it and it caused some dam­age,” ex­plained a (pos­si­bly) con­trite Nick­las Bendt­ner fol­low­ing a ker­fuf­fle at his Bushey flat in 2013. Af­ter din­ner with friends, Bendt­ner and his posse wanted a mid­night swim at the flat’s gym. Not to be de­nied by a stuck (or locked) door, they kicked it in. The Dane paid dam­ages and vowed to con­cen­trate on “do­ing what I do best”... miss­ing chances and wear­ing a spon­sor’s green undies, then.

The dog did it

Fol­low­ing his de­ci­sion to quit football in the early 1990s, for­mer Lu­ton striker Lars El­strup ex­plored the mean­ing of life by chant­ing loudly in his flat with

“And I don’t want a bleedin’ gold­fish in a plas­tic bag, nei­ther”

Bendt­ner: do­ing what he does best

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