Australian Four Four Two - - UPFRONT -

“I can’t watch it back now,” says Morten Ramm. “It is just too painful.” Ramm – a for­mer top-flight foot­baller in Nor­way and now a more es­tab­lished co­me­dian – is look­ing back on his de­ci­sion to get plas­tered with a group of friends and play a foot­ball match as a YouTube stunt. Each team had to have a blood al­co­hol con­cen­tra­tion av­er­ag­ing at least 1.0mg/ml – which is five times above the le­gal limit to drive a ve­hi­cle in Nor­way. Morten and his team-mates had a wild “pre-party” in the dress­ing room, glug­ging the spir­its freely, be­fore stag­ing an un­bear­ably-bad kick­about in which par­tic­i­pants were curling up on the floor, vom­it­ing on the side­lines and en­gag­ing in mi­nor skir­mishes. When one player did fi­nally open the scor­ing, the goal was dis­al­lowed af­ter a breathal­yser test ruled he wasn’t nearly drunk enough. “We were so out of it, most peo­ple can’t re­mem­ber the game,” said Ramm, “Foot­ball and booze don’t mix.” Who knew, eh?

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