The Captain’s

busi­ness card

Australian Muscle Car - - Maniac -

The award for the best busi­ness card of all time goes to one P G. JAN­SON esq, bet­ter known as the Captain Peter Jan­son.

Our thanks to Dave Sciber­ras for bring­ing this truly mar­vel­lous item of per­sonal sta­tionery to our at­ten­tion. For it pro­vides a de­tailed ex­pla­na­tion of Jan­son’s of­ten-stated yet fre­quently mis­un­der­stood oc­cu­pa­tion of ‘Gen­tle­man’.

We now know that a Gen­tle­man pro­vides the fol­low­ing ser­vices, for the right price: spit­toons emp­tied, wars fought, forces exed, tigers tamed, wives paci ed, rev­o­lu­tions started, bars emp­tied, as­sas­si­na­tions plot­ted, com­put­ers con­fused, gov­ern­ments re­or­gan­ised and op­er­ated, up­ris­ings started and quelled and or­gies or­gan­ised.

A ‘Gen­tle­man’ is also adept at ac­quir­ing items in­clud­ing, but not limited to: used and new cars, boats and air­craft; land; whisky; ma­nure; nails and riv­ets; y swat­ters; bon­gos; and rac­ing forms. The Captain was clearly very well­con­nected in the mil­i­tary as he boasted “guns and tanks bought, sold and stolen; sur­plus from all wars; and any­thing use­ful or use­less.”

We can’t con rm what’s listed on his busi­ness card’s B-side, how­ever we pre­sume it states: spon­sor­ship pro­cured; podi­ums lled; Cherry Ripes ung...

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