The 10 Apple Watch apps we’d love to see
The new Apple Watch has a lot of clever health features, including the ability to send your heartbeat to another user. With this tech it should be easy to develop an app that sends your boss a nonnegotiable notification stating that it’s medically unsafe for you to come in to work, complete with details of your heart beating like a terrified hamster. He’ll be non-the-wiser to the fact you’re drinking an espresso on a treadmill.
Fridges, thermostats and kettles connect to our phones and, therefore, smartwatches these days. But it’s smart microwaves we really want. Imagine popping your soup into the office microwave, then go back to your desk and remotely watch it spinning into bubbly lava, avoiding uncomfortable queue chat and keeping a safe distance for when your lunch inevitably explodes at three minutes into the recommended seven. Marvellous.
Walking down a dark alley at 3am in a terrifying part of town with a very expensive, shiny jewellery computer on your wrist, complete with quickrelease strap? Just tell Siri to activate CheapFaces and your Apple Watch transforms to look like the Swatch your dad wears for gardening. Though Siri will just start shouting something about not understanding and get you both beaten up.
You’re at a party, you’re having a good time. People are chatting, some folks are having a dance, it’s fun. Then, out the corner of your eye, you spot someone wrapping their blistered fingers around the neck of an acoustic guitar. Act fast! Simply say “Oh no you don’t” into your Watch and, using magnetic forces, all the strings on the guitar will detune. The Wonderwall singalong is cancelled. You’ve saved the party.
The 2015 bed time routine: clean teeth, get in bed, check Twitter until 2am. With SocialSleep, your Watch will detect when you lay down on your bed to sleep and will send painful jolts of electricity down your arm every time you reach over to your phone to check a social media channel. SocialSleep Premium will also detect alcohol units in your bloodstream and prevent you from sending texts after your blood reaches a composition of around 20 per cent red/ white blood cells, 80 per cent Jägerbomb.
6/ Supermarket Nav
Simply speak the ingredients you need for the evening’s supper and SupermarketNav (featuring layouts for every Woolworths, Coles and IGA) will guide you around the emporium in the shortest possible route. To make things exciting and increase your daily step count, every now and then it’ll forget the spring onion, making you hurtle from the checkout back into the store like a contestant on Supermarket Sweep.
The rule is, if someone tells you their name and you don’t quite catch it, you can never speak to that person again. NameKeeper solves this problem. When someone introduces themselves, the name logs itself on your Watch. Next time you’re near that person your Watch recognises them (due to science) and flashes their name on the screen. You just pretend you’re checking the time: “Oh, look it’s 10am. Fancy a coffee… Samantha?”
Walking down the street, your Apple Watch will buzz (almost as if it’s chuckling) every time you pass someone wearing an early Android Wear watch. This is your cue to roll up your sleeve, point at said person, and laugh.
This voice assistant app would only respond to your questions or commands with phrases such as “Whatever you think best, man”, “Sounds good to me” or “Let’s just this cancel this afternoon’s meeting, mmmkay?”, helping to take some of the stress out of modern life. Other features include vibrating when it thinks you need another screen break/ toasted sandwich and ignoring early morning alarm requests.
Everyone likes laser beams, either for pointing-at-bits-ofpresentation purposes or for zapping evil bad guys, so this application would simply shoot high powered lasers at stuff, because… lasers! Woo!