Blunt - - Up Front -

Lunch­meats – Mor­tadella is tra­di­tion­ally made out of horse meat so if you live near a race track that has a steeple chase you’re gonna pick up some cheap mor­tadella… and glue. All other lunch­meats are made of snouts, ar­ses and hoofs which are, sur­pris­ingly, the cheaper part of an an­i­mal that’s been cob­bled to­gether like a de­li­cious edi­ble shoe.

Get a boyfriend/ girl­friend – Their bank ac­counts are a great source of nu­tri­tion.

In terms of ac­tual places go to:

• Bimbo Deluxe in Fitzroy, Mel­bourne: $ 4 piz­zas.

• Yard Bird Ale House in the Val­ley, Bris­bane: Spicy shit that’s good. • Frankie’s Pizza in Syd­ney: Uh­hhh pizza, and

they play metal.

• Burp Bur­ri­tos in Ade­laide: Duh­hhh, bur­ri­tos.

• Bo­jan­gles Sa­loon in Alice Springs: I don’t know if they even do food but the place will blow your mind ( and in the town where I grew up in Vic­to­ria there was a pizza shop called Bo­jan­gles).

• Trout Bar in Ho­bart.

• Don’t eat in Can­berra – just buy fire­works

and porn.

• Perth – noth­ing’s cheap in Perth; get a job in a mine.

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