Fab fa­ther fig­ures out­shine pudgy pa­pas

I wanted to be a dad, do I have to be a DILF too?

Central and North Burnett Times - - SPORT - Owen Jac­ques

WHY won’t they leave me alone? I see them on the coast­line with their tanned bod­ies, their full heads of hair and im­pres­sive physiques.

Worst of all I see them with their chil­dren. Plu­ral.

These are fa­thers, with chil­dren, who some­how avoid eat­ing quar­ter-pounder meals in bulk when­ever Bub de­cides to stay up all night yelling.

There are now In­sta­gram ac­counts ded­i­cated to these type of men.

The “Dilfs of Dis­ney­land” ac­count has al­most 350,000 fol­low­ers. You can work out what DILF stands for. De­press­ingly, it’s just a whole bunch of photos of fit and hand­some look­ing dudes walk­ing around Dis­ney­land with their kids.

I al­ways fig­ured that fa­ther­hood was like a para­chute that of­fered you an es­cape from that flam­ing plane of so­ci­ety’s non­sense obli­ga­tions.

“Sorry I’m a dad now,” I’d say as I leap smugly away from the doomed jet.

Fa­ther­hood was meant to make me im­mune to this type of thing.

But now it’s not enough to be a dot­ing dad, I have to be a DILF.

Mean­while there are groups popping up across the in­ter­net that are record­ing the in­cred­i­bly un­re­al­is­tic ex­pec­ta­tions women (and men) have while search­ing for an in­ter­net ro­mance.

In one of the most pop­u­lar, a woman de­mands that a man must be “6’2”+, no kids, good job, car and crib, de­gree” be­fore adding he must be this big or big­ger and that she’s “not

‘‘ Fa­ther­hood was meant to make me im­mune to this type of thing.

set­tling ei­ther”.

It’s one of those times I’m glad that I haven’t had to face the dat­ing scene for more than a decade, a time be­fore on­line ro­mance has blos­somed from be­ing a joke to now be­ing bizarre and fright­en­ing.

I feel for those men with chil­dren, who are look­ing for love and fac­ing these ridicu­lous ques­tions and peo­ple.

Per­haps one day there’ll be an In­sta­gram page for pudgy, lazy dads who just love their kids. I could do well on there.

PHOTO: THINKSTOCK

◗ These types of dads are hard to miss with their tanned bod­ies, their full heads of hair and im­pres­sive physiques.

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