‘Fine’ does not de­scribe a feel­ing

Central Telegraph - - NEWS - By Patti Wil­liams

I RE­CENTLY at­tended a sem­i­nar where the speaker had one golden rule: any time he asked how we were going with the con­tent, we were not al­lowed to re­spond with ‘good’.

Af­ter hav­ing a bit of fun with all the syn­onyms of good (great! ex­cel­lent! etc), we were forced to dig deeper.

In do­ing so, we had to think about our re­sponse in­stead of de­fault­ing to the sur­face-level re­ply we usu­ally give.

I no­tice the same de­fault re­sponses com­ing up in ev­ery­day con­ver­sa­tions as well. Es­pe­cially when we are asked ‘how are you?’

And while ‘fine, thanks’ is an au­to­matic re­sponse for many of us, it’s im­por­tant we re­mem­ber that fine is not a feel­ing.

In­stead, I en­cour­age you to dig deeper. To in­ter­rupt the pat­tern by stop­ping and think­ing about how you are re­ally feel­ing. To iden­tify the emo­tion and then have the courage to ar­tic­u­late it.

In do­ing so, you’ll re­as­sure oth­ers that it’s okay to speak up. In fact, it’s nec­es­sary. Be­cause once we recog­nise the emo­tions that are at play – whether it’s ex­cite­ment, worry or frus­tra­tion – then at least there’s a start­ing point for real con­nec­tion to take place.

From here, any­thing is pos­si­ble and al­ways work-out-able.

And with that I ask, ‘How are you to­day?’ Let’s get the ball rolling and share what’s re­ally going on. It’s a con­ver­sa­tion that can make a big dif­fer­ence.

■ Patti Wil­liams will be guest speaker at the GGGB Girls’ Night In be­ing held at Set­tlers Pri­vate Room on Oc­to­ber 13.

❝To in­ter­rupt the pat­tern by stop­ping and think­ing about how you are re­ally feel­ing.

PHOTOS: CONTRIBUTED

CARING: Care pack­ages handed out to Hello World. HOW ARE YOU, RE­ALLY? GGGB care packs are dropped off at Biloela Dis­count Chemist for R U OK Day.

Care Pack­ages handed out to Dig­i­tal Foot­step.

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