Ask him any­thing

LOVE AD­VICE FROM OUR GUY GURU, LO­GAN HILL

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - This Month -

Q. I’VE BEEN DAT­ING THIS GUY FOR FIVE MONTHS, AND HE’S GREAT – SO CAR­ING AND AL­WAYS THERE FOR ME. I WANT TO THANK HIM! THE PROB­LEM IS, HE’S WRIT­ING HIS THE­SIS AND SHORT ON FREE TIME. THERE ARE ALL THESE CON­CERTS I WANT TO TAKE HIM TO BUT HE DOESN’T HAVE TIME… AND MY LINGERIE AND STRIPTEASE ROU­TINE IS GET­TING OLD. WHAT DO I DO?

A. Read­ing your sweet ques­tion, I’m struck by how easy guys have it and how lit­tle women ex­pect! Be­ing nice and de­cent was once the bare min­i­mum, not a cause for spe­cial thanks, much less a striptease. A chill din­ner is great, but the best way to thank a part­ner for be­ing de­cent and kind is to be that way right back.

Q. My boyfriend shows zero signs that he’s cheat­ing, but I find it weird that when I want to use his phone for some­thing, he says no. Does this sound like a guy who’s cheat­ing and wants to hide his phone? Or is this nor­mal?

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Q. We’re plan­ning a wed­ding, and it’s all my fi­ancé and I talk about now. I was never the girl who day­dreamed about this, so plan­ning is a chore. How do we plan a wed­ding without let­ting it take over our re­la­tion­ship?

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Q. I WANT TO HELP MY BF PAY OFF HIS HELP DEBT. I MAKE MORE THAN I NEED – AND HE DOESN’T MAKE ENOUGH TO PUT A DENT IN IT. I WANT TO HELP AND I TRUST HIM. MY FRIENDS ARE AGAINST IT. SHOULD I HELP HIM?

A. It’s your money, but I agree with your friends. Mar­ried or not, it’s not wise to pay off a part­ner’s debt un­less it’s part of a strat­egy longterm. If you two are plan­ning your life to­gether, sug­gest that you plan your fi­nan­cial fu­ture rather than of­fer­ing cash. As part of that, pay­ing off his debt might make sense for you. Or not.

Q. I’m en­gaged but I’m hav­ing this ma­jor flir­ta­tion­ship with this guy at work who’s also en­gaged. We’ve kissed in the break room, but that’s it. We’ve never even had a one-onone con­ver­sa­tion. It’s com­pletely a sex­ual con­nec­tion. I want to be with my fi­ancé and I know our re­la­tion­ship is dif­fer­ent be­cause he and I ac­tu­ally talk to each other. But what does it mean that I’m drawn to kiss­ing this other guy? And how do I get out of this sit­u­a­tion be­fore I screw up my en­gage­ment?

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Grand ges­tures are over­rated. A ca­sual cold one shows him you care.

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