‘He spent the en­tire time tex­ting an­other girl’

Noth­ing kills the date vibes faster than bod­ily func­tions, over-friendly moth­ers and foot fetishes

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - Contents -

‘First, he was late. Then he got a pricey bot­tle of cham­pagne and didn’t share any! He also or­dered way more food than I did and an ex­pen­sive dessert. When the bill came, he asked, “Can you bail me out? I’ll pay you back.” I did. On the way home, he stopped for petrol and asked for more money! I said no, and he made me get out of the car!’ – KATE, 31

‘I went to a foot­ball game on a third date with this guy I was into. I know noth­ing about foot­ball, but I f ig­ured he would teach me. In­stead, he spent the en­tire game tex­ting an­other girl about how he couldn’t wait to meet her and take her out. We were sup­posed to go back to his house after­wards, but I made up an ex­cuse and said I had to get home. There was no way he was go­ing to get any!’ – JOR­DAN, 26

‘He asked me to pick him up from his par­ents’ house. As soon as he got in my car, we hit it off and started chat­ting. Then his mum knocked on the win­dow. She’d come out to give us frozen wa­ter bot­tles. She knew we’d be drink­ing and didn’t want us to get de­hy­drated.’

– SA­VAN­NAH, 24

‘At dinner, this dude only talked about mak­ing money. After­wards, we sat on a bench and he held my hand and said, “You have nice hands. I’m re­ally into hands. I’m into some­thing else, too. I like feet. Can I give you a foot mas­sage?” We were out­side at 9pm. I said no and re­fused to go on an­other date.’ – TIF­FANY, 25

‘This guy and I were on our third date when he fi­nally re­vealed to me that he lives in his mum’s base­ment. Then, when he took me back to his hovel, we started mak­ing out, and he whipped out his pe­nis while let­ting out a long, stinky fart. I asked him, “Are you se­ri­ous?” and he shrugged and replied, “Shit hap­pens”. I left the base­ment and deleted him from my life.’ – EVIE, 35

SOME THINGS SHOULDN’T RE­ALLY NEED SAY­ING…

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