Ask Osher & Matty J any­thing

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - Contents -

Q.I’M SEE­ING A FEW GUYS AT ONCE BUT I’M LIK­ING ONE MORE THAN THE REST – HOW DO I EAS­ILY LET THE OTH­ERS DOWN WITH­OUT COM­PLETELY GHOST­ING?

A.OSHER: ‘Just be hon­est. Take a

big breath, dial the num­ber and say what you have to say. It will be a quick phone call but will give him clo­sure, and give you the feel­ing you’ve done the right thing, al­low­ing you to em­bark on the new re­la­tion­ship from a clear space. Fail­ing that, I can al­ways pop around in a nice suit and tell them all to please take a mo­ment to say their good­byes.’

MATTY: ‘From a guy who has a bit of ex­pe­ri­ence in this de­part­ment, hon­esty is al­ways the best pol­icy in these sit­u­a­tions. It’s never fun to let peo­ple down and feel like you’ve hurt their feel­ings, but you’ll feel so much bet­ter once it’s done. It’s a shame you can’t have Osher’s help be­cause it does make a world of dif­fer­ence!’

Q.Is send­ing a fol­low- up text right af­ter a first date weird?

A.OSHER: ‘ I feel it’s a nice way to cap off the date – but it has an ex­piry date. Send it within an hour of part­ing com­pany. Un­less it’s night­time al­ready – then send it the next day. Any text late in the evening can be mis­un­der­stood as a po­ten­tial booty call.’ MATTY: ‘ I don’t think there’s any­thing wrong with send­ing a mes­sage late at night. Just make sure you don’t word it in a way that gives the wrong im­pres­sion.’

Q.My new guy is great, but has an un­usual sense of hu­mour – my friends take it the wrong way. How do I act?

A.OSHER: ‘Just laugh if you f ind it funny. If he’s a bit odd, that’s fine. If he’s be­ing out­wardly an­ti­so­cial, how­ever, give him the ben­e­fit of the doubt and ex­plain to him once only that that kind of thing isn’t OK.’

MATTY: ‘As long as his jokes aren’t of­fen­sive and he isn’t mak­ing fun at the ex­pense of your friends, I don’t see a prob­lem with it. The only thing that mat­ters is if you like his sense of hu­mour. Some­times it takes a while to warm up to some­one else’s hu­mour. Re­as­sure your friends that he’s great and give it an­other shot hang­ing out to­gether.’

Q.He’s sug­gested dinner but hasn’t set a date. Is it a sign he’s not keen, or should I make plans?

A.OSHER: ‘Ab­so­lutely make plans, but only once. If he doesn’t make the night, that’s good in­for­ma­tion. I’d with­hold any other con­tact un­til dinner hap­pens.’

MATTY: ‘I’d sug­gest a date and put the ball in his court. If he doesn’t make plans then alarm bells are ring­ing!’

Q.I HAD A GREAT NIGHT WITH THIS GUY I MET THROUGH WORK AND THE BAN­TER HAS BEEN GOOD SINCE. WE’VE DANCED AROUND THE IDEA OF SEE­ING EACH OTHER AGAIN, BUT NEI­THER OF US ARE MAK­ING THE MOVE. WHAT ARE SOME SUB­TLE HINTS I CAN DROP TO LET HIM KNOW I’M KEEN?

A.OSHER: ‘Pick up the phone and call. Let him know you’re free on the week­end and that you should have a lunch/dinner to­gether. If he can’t make it, he’ll of­fer an al­ter­nate date. If he is re­luc­tant, then you’ve got good in­tel that he might not be into a sec­ond pass.’ MATTY: ‘ Why don’t you or­gan­ise a so­cial night with all your col­leagues and then in­vite him along? That way you can test the chem­istry be­tween the two of you and see if he’s ac­tu­ally some­one you would want to get in­volved with ro­man­ti­cally.’

‘ BEN, WILL YOU AC­CEPT THESE GLASSES?’

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