Ask Osher & Matty J anything
Q.I’M SEEING A FEW GUYS AT ONCE BUT I’M LIKING ONE MORE THAN THE REST – HOW DO I EASILY LET THE OTHERS DOWN WITHOUT COMPLETELY GHOSTING?
A.OSHER: ‘Just be honest. Take a
big breath, dial the number and say what you have to say. It will be a quick phone call but will give him closure, and give you the feeling you’ve done the right thing, allowing you to embark on the new relationship from a clear space. Failing that, I can always pop around in a nice suit and tell them all to please take a moment to say their goodbyes.’
MATTY: ‘From a guy who has a bit of experience in this department, honesty is always the best policy in these situations. It’s never fun to let people down and feel like you’ve hurt their feelings, but you’ll feel so much better once it’s done. It’s a shame you can’t have Osher’s help because it does make a world of difference!’
Q.Is sending a follow- up text right after a first date weird?
A.OSHER: ‘ I feel it’s a nice way to cap off the date – but it has an expiry date. Send it within an hour of parting company. Unless it’s nighttime already – then send it the next day. Any text late in the evening can be misunderstood as a potential booty call.’ MATTY: ‘ I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sending a message late at night. Just make sure you don’t word it in a way that gives the wrong impression.’
Q.My new guy is great, but has an unusual sense of humour – my friends take it the wrong way. How do I act?
A.OSHER: ‘Just laugh if you f ind it funny. If he’s a bit odd, that’s fine. If he’s being outwardly antisocial, however, give him the benefit of the doubt and explain to him once only that that kind of thing isn’t OK.’
MATTY: ‘As long as his jokes aren’t offensive and he isn’t making fun at the expense of your friends, I don’t see a problem with it. The only thing that matters is if you like his sense of humour. Sometimes it takes a while to warm up to someone else’s humour. Reassure your friends that he’s great and give it another shot hanging out together.’
Q.He’s suggested dinner but hasn’t set a date. Is it a sign he’s not keen, or should I make plans?
A.OSHER: ‘Absolutely make plans, but only once. If he doesn’t make the night, that’s good information. I’d withhold any other contact until dinner happens.’
MATTY: ‘I’d suggest a date and put the ball in his court. If he doesn’t make plans then alarm bells are ringing!’
Q.I HAD A GREAT NIGHT WITH THIS GUY I MET THROUGH WORK AND THE BANTER HAS BEEN GOOD SINCE. WE’VE DANCED AROUND THE IDEA OF SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN, BUT NEITHER OF US ARE MAKING THE MOVE. WHAT ARE SOME SUBTLE HINTS I CAN DROP TO LET HIM KNOW I’M KEEN?
A.OSHER: ‘Pick up the phone and call. Let him know you’re free on the weekend and that you should have a lunch/dinner together. If he can’t make it, he’ll offer an alternate date. If he is reluctant, then you’ve got good intel that he might not be into a second pass.’ MATTY: ‘ Why don’t you organise a social night with all your colleagues and then invite him along? That way you can test the chemistry between the two of you and see if he’s actually someone you would want to get involved with romantically.’
‘ BEN, WILL YOU ACCEPT THESE GLASSES?’