Ask him anything
Q: SOS! My fiancé has awesome style when he shops for himself. But all the gifts he picks out for me are hideous. How do I tell him?
A: You don’t. Hate to say it, but the thought does count – and he is trying – so criticising his unfortunate taste will just come across as ungrateful. Instead, steer him towards better choices. In the leadup to holidays and birthdays, drop obvious hints like giant breadcrumbs he can pick up as he hunts for presents: ‘I wish I had a nice wallet… Chance the Rapper is coming to town, but the tickets are so expensive… You know what’s underrated? Gift cards. Nobody ever gets me gift cards anymore…’ Unless he’s totally oblivious (be warned, he may very well be), he should get the message. Q:
I SLEPT WITH THIS GUY AFTER A FEW GREAT DATES, THEN OUR NEXT MEET-UP FELT LIKE A BOOTY CALL. CAN I GET HIM TO PURSUE ME MORE SERIOUSLY AGAIN? A:
If he doesn’t want anything deep, you can’t force him to get real. And trying is usually just a big waste of time. However, you can be clear about your own expectations. Next time you talk to him, propose a proper date that can’t be confused with a lastminute sex request, like meeting before the sun goes down at some place other than a bar. Then be blunt about what you’re after: ‘I know we’re just getting to know each other, but I’m looking for more than a casual hookup. Are you?’
LOVE ADVICE FROM OUR GUY GURU, LOGAN HILL
THE GUY I’M SEEING IS SO CHATTY OVER TEXT, BUT TOTALLY CLAMS UP IN PERSON. IS THERE A WAY TO DRAW THE MORE TALKATIVE VERSION OF HIM OUT OF HIDING? A:
Only more IRL interactions will tell. Some guys are shy and need a while to get comfortable and loosen up in front of someone. Others are nothing but thumbs: super expressive and engaging via text, but not so much when they’re face to face. Give him a few more dates to settle in and show you who he really is. And in the meantime, keep texting – your backand-forth banter is definitely helping.
MY BF AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE YEARS, BUT WE HAVEN’T SAID ‘I LOVE YOU’. IS THAT WEIRD?
That’s a long time. If you love him, you should say so! He could simply be nervous to say it first. Or it’s possible he’s not there yet. If that’s the case, wouldn’t you rather know now than invest more time wondering? Q: Does my hubby really not notice when he adjusts himself in public? He does it all the time, and it’s so embarrassing!
A: Nope. He’s acting on pure animal instinct, like a baboon scratching his arse. You have to call him out in order to alert him to this. Say something that sends a message loud and clear, as in: ‘Babe, the whole room just saw you adjust yourself! I know your pants can barely contain your massive manhood, but can you please act like you weren’t raised in the jungle?’ That may inspire him to be a bit more discreet when it comes to rearranging in front of others. Q:
MY GUY FRIEND TELLS OTHER DUDES WHO HIT ON ME THAT I’M TAKEN, YET HE SAYS TO ME THAT HE JUST WANTS TO BE BUDS. WHAT GIVES?
I’ve known guys to run interference like this for at least three reasons: One is brotherly love. He doesn’t think these dudes are good enough for you, so he’s acting all protective. Two, he has a secret crush. He wants you but can’t admit it – maybe not even to himself. Three, he’s possessive. He doesn’t want to be your boyfriend but still wants to be the only man in your life. None of these motivations are acceptable because he’s butting in without your permission. Tell him to knock it off. It’s your right (and only yours) to shoot guys down… or pick them up.
Q: I don’t talk to my ex, but he keeps writing our special song lyrics in his Instagram captions. Is this an invite to get back together?
A: Um… who cares? Seriously, even if this is his vague, odd and indirect way of reaching out, you don’t want to be with a guy who’s so passive aggressive that
you’re not even sure if he wants you back. If he’s looking to be with you, he should man up and stop playing socialmedia games. Hold out for a DM or phone call before giving this guy another thought.
‘I HOPE THIS ISN’T A PLAYSTATION CONTROLLER AGAIN…’
ER… YOU REALLY BELIEVE THIS GUY ‘JUST WANTS TO BE BUDS’?