Sex Q&A

No-BS re­sponses to ques­tions you can only ask Cosmo

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - Contents -

Do I have to tell my doc my sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion?

You don’t have to, but in this case, shar­ing is car­ing for your girl parts. ‘Your sex­ual prac­tices may in­flu­ence how your doc­tor does your exam,’ says ob­gyn Dr Al­li­son Hill. For ex­am­ple, a gy­nae­col­o­gist may use a smaller specu­lum on a les­bian who doesn’t en­gage in pen­e­tra­tive sex. It’s also worth speak­ing up about it un­prompted since, strangely enough, your doc prob­a­bly won’t ask. A new study pub­lished in JAMA In­ter­nal Medicine re­vealed that while nearly 80 per cent of doc­tors said they didn’t think pa­tients would want to dis­close their sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion, in fact, only 10 per cent of peo­ple said they would refuse to give it if they were asked.

I know I’m sup­posed to pee af­ter sex, but what about af­ter us­ing my vi­bra­tor?

Yes. Just like a pe­nis, a vibe can push any bac­te­ria on your skin (or the toy it­self) into your ure­thra, where it can cause a uri­nary tract in­fec­tion, says Dr Hill. If your blad­der is full when you’re buzzing, you’re even more likely to get a UTI, be­cause any germ build­up hasn’t been flushed out since your last pee. The sim­ple so­lu­tion? Go to the bath­room be­fore your ses­sion and right af­ter you’re done. Clean your toy af­ter each use with mild soap and warm wa­ter or an an­tibac­te­rial toy cleaner, so you’re less likely to bring about the burn.

Why can I not stop talk­ing – I mean, it’s se­ri­ous TMI – af­ter sex?

Blame it on evo­lu­tion: we’re de­signed to blab our deep­est, dark­est feel­ings post­deed to fa­cil­i­tate at­tach­ment, which helps en­sure the sur­vival of our off­spring. Chat away – just don’t go over­board with your con­fes­sions if you are sleep­ing with some­one new. ‘Talk­ing about emo­tions af­ter sex should be re­cip­ro­cal and grad­ual,’ says Gu­rit Birn­baum, who has stud­ied post­sex over­shar­ing. Too much too soon can back­fire. If your part­ner’s re­sponse seems meh, it might be a sign that he’s less in­ter­ested in tak­ing things to a deeper level. Some men aren’t quick to dis­cuss feel­ings… Oth­ers just need re­cov­ery time.

How do I get my guy to go down on me more of­ten?

One new study found that while oral sex on a woman is one of the most com­mon pre­dic­tors of or­gasm (love you, cli­toral stim­u­la­tion), it’s also one of the least prac­ticed sex­ual acts among cou­ples. The en­cour­ag­ing news: ‘A guy is more apt to try some­thing if it’s fun and he knows you’re go­ing to get plea­sure from it,’ says sex ther­a­pist Dawn Michael. So turn fore­play into a hot game for ev­ery­one in­volved. When it’s your turn, you get to have what­ever you ask done to you, and then on his turn, he gets the same deal. When he’s down­town, be sure to show him how much you like it through your moans. He’ll be so turned on by turn­ing you on, he might just take up res­i­dency there. Not a bad thought…


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