Sex Q&A

Hon­est an­swers to your most pri­vate ques­tions

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - Contents -

Q. Any ideas for a role-play out­fit that’s sexy but not cheesy?

A. When act­ing out sex­ual fan­tasies, it’s less about how you look, and more about how you own the per­sona. ‘You could be a nurse, truck driver, farmer – what­ever!’ says Dr Jenni Skyler, a res­i­dent sex­ol­o­gist for adult re­tailer Adam & Eve. ‘Em­body it with con­fi­dence and it won’t come across as cheesy.’ Have a look in your own closet to see if you can un­cover a naughty al­ter ego. Or ask your part­ner if they have a spe­cific fan­tasy, then use that for in­spo. Last re­sort? New lace undies, you mega­babe, you.

Q. My BF smells kinda funky down there. How do I bring it up with­out ma­jor awk­ward­ness?

A. Start sub­tly, sug­gests sex ther­a­pist Laura Ber­man. Men­tion how you have a sen­si­tive nose, so it’s a turn­on when he smells good all over. Or start mov­ing your fore­play to the bath, where you can both suds up be­fore go time. ‘If all that fails, you’ll need to be di­rect but kind,’ says Ber­man. Sim­ply state: ‘Hey babe, I love touch­ing you, but I think you need to clean your­self up down there. It’s smelling a lit­tle off.’ He might be tem­po­rar­ily of­fended, but he’ll get over it, es­pe­cially if he wants you to keep go­ing down­town.

Q. Is it pos­si­ble to get my cur­rent STI sta­tus on my phone so I can show it to a new part­ner?

A. Yes. Many doc­tors’ of­fices have con­ve­nient on­line por­tals where you can ac­cess your test re­sults, you see your records on­line, and some prac­tices will send your STI info via email or an app, says ob­gyn Sherry Ross. You could also try Aus­tralian on­line sex­ual health clinic Stigma Health (Stigma­ where you can re­quest a test on­line rather than have to visit your GP for a re­fer­ral. This can make the safe­sex talk eas­ier. As in, ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’

Q. What’s the best sex toy to gift the bride-to-be at a hens’ party?

A. The Sat­is­fyer Pro Trav­eler ($69.95, Love­ is a palm­size cli­toral stim­u­la­tor with 11 quiet pres­sure wave set­tings that’s ideal for solo and part­nered play, es­pe­cially dur­ing dog­gie­style in­ter­course. It’s also sleek and small enough for you to slip into your carry­on lug­gage if you’re trav­el­ling to the cel­e­bra­tion... and for your friend to pack for her up­com­ing hon­ey­moon. In­stant win!

Q. My guy started tak­ing a hair-loss sup­ple­ment, and he’s lost his li­bido. Is there a con­nec­tion?

A. If he’s tak­ing an over­the­counter kind, then likely no, says der­ma­tol­o­gist Gly­nis Ablon. But if he’s pop­ping pre­scrip­tion med­i­ca­tion, it low­ers his level of a po­tent male hor­mone. This can slow or stop hair loss, but it has also been linked to scary side ef­fects like de­creased li­bido, erec­tile dys­func­tion, and de­pres­sion. See if your man will con­sider switch­ing to a botan­i­cal sup­ple­ment in­stead.

Q. Is there a hot spin on same-old mis­sion­ary sex we can try tonight?

A. Take the po­si­tion’s top perks – lots of eye con­tact and in­ti­macy – and flip them to the side for all­new feels, sug­gests Skyler. From ly­ing on your back, roll to one side, use a hand to prop your head up, and wrap your top leg around bae’s waist. Then have them strad­dle your bot­tom leg and be­gin thrust­ing. At this an­gle you’ll both still en­joy deep and in­ti­mate pen­e­tra­tion.

Q. When­ever I or­gasm, I sneeze! Huh?!

A. Oh, bless you – and your sex­u­ally in­duced sneez­ing, the le­git term for an achoo dur­ing cli­max (not to be con­fused with hon­ey­moon rhini­tis, which is nasal con­ges­tion dur­ing sex). It’s thought to be caused by mixed neu­ro­log­i­cal sig­nals, says Nina Brochmann, co­au­thor of The Won­der Down Un­der: A User’s Guide to the Vagina. ‘Or­gasms and sneez­ing are au­to­nomic re­flexes, so some peo­ple might do both at once be­cause of a cross­wiring mis­take.’ Don’t worry, it’s no big deal... and you’re not al­ler­gic to plea­sure!



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