3 ways to know if he’s mansplaining
When a guy patronisingly tells you something you already know, he’s most likely mansplaining. Immortalised last year on Saturday Night Live by two men stepping in front of Lorde to sing her song for her, mansplaining keeps women down by undermining their credibility in the workplace.
But sometimes, a guy (e.g., your boss) is just giving you helpful feedback, says Tiffany Dufu, author of Drop the Ball. Here, she shares how to know when you’re being talked down to – and when you’re just being talked to.
When he’s explaining something you obviously know more about than he does...
He’s mansplaining: If you’re the social-media manager and he’s ignorantly critiquing your hashtags.
He’s just talking: If he mentions another expert, like a researcher he read about or his friend who runs a social-media firm.
When he’s commenting on a project you just completed...
He’s mansplaining: If he tells you what he thinks without asking for your thoughts on the matter.
He’s just talking: If he gives you a chance to respond. Someone who is genuinely trying to help you improve will care what you think.
When he’s telling you things you don’t want to hear...
He’s mansplaining: If he’s not saying anything remotely helpful or useful – he simply likes to hear the sound of his own voice.
He’s just talking: If his feedback is enlightening and gives you new information, even if it makes you feel defensive.