3 ways to know if he’s mansplain­ing

Cosmopolitan (Australia) - - Work -

When a guy pa­tro­n­is­ingly tells you some­thing you al­ready know, he’s most likely mansplain­ing. Im­mor­talised last year on Satur­day Night Live by two men step­ping in front of Lorde to sing her song for her, mansplain­ing keeps women down by un­der­min­ing their cred­i­bil­ity in the workplace.

But some­times, a guy (e.g., your boss) is just giv­ing you help­ful feed­back, says Tif­fany Dufu, au­thor of Drop the Ball. Here, she shares how to know when you’re be­ing talked down to – and when you’re just be­ing talked to.

When he’s ex­plain­ing some­thing you ob­vi­ously know more about than he does...

He’s mansplain­ing: If you’re the so­cial-me­dia man­ager and he’s ig­no­rantly cri­tiquing your hash­tags.

He’s just talk­ing: If he men­tions an­other ex­pert, like a re­searcher he read about or his friend who runs a so­cial-me­dia firm.

When he’s com­ment­ing on a project you just com­pleted...

He’s mansplain­ing: If he tells you what he thinks with­out ask­ing for your thoughts on the mat­ter.

He’s just talk­ing: If he gives you a chance to re­spond. Some­one who is gen­uinely try­ing to help you im­prove will care what you think.

When he’s telling you things you don’t want to hear...

He’s mansplain­ing: If he’s not say­ing any­thing re­motely help­ful or use­ful – he sim­ply likes to hear the sound of his own voice.

He’s just talk­ing: If his feed­back is en­light­en­ing and gives you new in­for­ma­tion, even if it makes you feel de­fen­sive.

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