12 groom-to-be mus­ings

What your other half may be think­ing as the nup­tials near and on the day it­self…

Cosmopolitan Bride (Australia) - - GOOD TIMES - by Osher Güns­berg Osher Güns­berg is a TV and ra­dio per­son­al­ity. The host of The Bach­e­lor and The Bach­e­lorette can be heard as part of the break­fast ra­dio team, week­days, on Hit 105 Bris­bane. He also hosts Love Line on Sun­day nights na­tion­ally on the Hit N

1 For the wed­ding, I want us to have jump­ing cas­tles. And let’s have food trucks! Oh YES, let’s get Hot Dub Time Ma­chine to DJ! Wait, how much? OK, a sausage siz­zle and Spo­tify it is.

2

To my man-about-town mate: what do you mean, “Can I bring a date?” I won’t know her name in six weeks. No.

3

Where’s my birth cer­tifi­cate? Re­ally? Won’t my pass­port do the trick?

4

What’s the dif­fer­ence between rose/ blush/pink/fuch­sia/salmon/flamingo brides­maids’ dresses?

5

I don’t care about what chairs we have. Can they be sat on? Then they’re good for me.

6

No, I won’t do any­thing stupid on my bucks’ night – it’s more for my mates who are get­ting a leave pass than me. How­ever, I may or may not be in­volved in a shop­ping trol­ley race at some point.

7

What do you want me to wear? As long as I’m wear­ing some­thing you like, I’ll be happy. I’m re­ally not fussed. (Just don’t put me in a com­edy tie…) 8 Why are there so many flow­ers? And why is every­one tak­ing the flow­ers we spent so much money on?

9

Who are you? I might be smil­ing and nod­ding and say­ing thanks for the toaster, but I have no clue who you are.

10

How soon is rea­son­able for me to re­move my suit jacket? Be­cause it’s sum­mer and this is Aus­tralia.

11

Do you think [in­sert my sin­gle friend’s name] and [in­sert your sin­gle friend’s name] would be into each other?

12

All I care about? That you’re there with me and think­ing of what we’re do­ing when we say our vows. That’s all that mat­ters. That’s the mo­ment that sets up the rest of our lives to­gether. If you’re wor­ry­ing about how the cof­fee urn might trip the power strip be­cause it’s plugged into the same plug that the warm­ing oven is plugged into, you’re not think­ing about what’s im­por­tant. You’re my bride, so just be my bride. Leave the lo­gis­tics to other peo­ple.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.