The Emoji Movie is just a big sad face
COME back, The Angry Birds Movie, you 2016 cartoon calamity! Not only is all forgiven.
You are a paragon of taste, restraint and higher learning when compared to this year’s app-trocity leaping from phone screen to big screen.
The Emoji Movie is a feature film dramatising the wacky exploits of those playful pictograms through which much of the world communicates.
The most convenient way to review this soulless, cynical and strikingly unfunny animated comedy could be to simply print one big Poop Emoji.
Is there an Emoji of someone setting fire to a cinema?
That would be perfect. The story unfolds – and then tears itself immediately to pieces – in the city of Textopolis, which is located inside a child’s mobile phone.
It is here we meet Meh
(voiced by T.J. Miller), an Emoji marked for deletion because he is too cheerful to convey indifference.
Meh just might be the most exceptionally dire lead character to have ever fronted an animated comedy.
He really exists only to give lethargic shout-outs to digital brands who have paid for that exalted privilege.
As for those advertisers who shelled out a little less, Meh and his fellow Emojis will hang out near the relevant logo.
SAD FACE: A scene from The Emoji Movie.