“Why are you eating that? You know it’s not good for you!”

EXPERT TIP Clarke suggests taking a step back and asking yourself, “What am I trying to achieve with this?” Often we can be motivated by the need to reduce our own distress. Think; ‘If I jump in with this comment now, what’s the likely outcome? Will my partner or child see it as helpful, or invalidating?’ Clarke reminds us most people with diabetes try hard to take care of themselves. Comments about choices in the moment can be perceived as you not having faith in the person to manage their condition. This is especially important for children reaching a stage of self-management, says Clarke. “Helpful comments are fine. But if they’re not, they might be perceived by your child as a message that they can’t cope.” That can be scary for them, to think they’ll always need someone else’s support.

In order to be there for others, we need to take care of ourselves