SIB­LING WARS

Feel like you’re con­stantly bat­tling it with your bro or sis? DOLLY is here to solve your sib­ling squab­bles.

Dolly - - Contents -

How to turn your sib­ling from en­emy to BFF.

You can phase out a lousy friend and dump a bad BF, but you can’t ditch a sib­ling – you’re both in it for the long haul. And the way that you guys in­ter­act dur­ing your younger years sets up your re­la­tion­ship for the rest of your life. So ask your­self: do you want a bestie by blood or a life­long neme­sis? Since you obvs want the first one, read on…

“MY SIB­LING AND I DON’T HAVE ANY­THING IN COM­MON. WE DON’T GET ALONG AT ALL.”

Matt says: This is to­tally nor­mal – es­pe­cially when you’re grow­ing up. You’ve gotta fo­cus on the things that you do have in com­mon, like a mu­tual love of a Net­flix show or a Plays­ta­tion game that you can bond over. So in be­tween the in­evitable sib­ling dramz, at least you’ll find some time when you en­joy each other’s com­pany. Kim says: Most sib­lings clash in the teen years ‘cos you’re both find­ing out who you are and what you like. Try to find some­thing you en­joy do­ing to­gether at least once a week. If you still don’t get along, be OK with hav­ing space from them. You don’t have to hate each other, sim­ply ac­cept you have your dif­fer­ences.

“SOME OF MY FRIENDS HAVE A CRUSH ON MY BROTHER.”

Bec says: Ew! The last thing you EVER want to think about is your brother kiss­ing some­one, let alone if that some­one is your friend. Firstly, take it as a com­pli­ment ‘cos you share your brother’s genes – there­fore you must be pretty damn at­trac­tive too. And hy­po­thet­i­cally, if they did date, this would be the clos­est you’ll get to one of your besties be­com­ing your sis­ter. Yas! Kim says: The last thing you want is for your friend and your brother to a) like each other ‘cos you’ll be the third wheel or b) get to­gether then break up and hate each other. My ad­vice is to avoid con­ver­sa­tions about your brother. When she asks about him, say as lit­tle as pos­si­ble and change the sub­ject. Help her find a new crush!

“MY SIS­TER FOL­LOWS ME AND COPIES EV­ERY­THING I DO.”

Matt says: OK, this one can get an­noy­ing fast – es­pe­cially if it gets to the point where she’s steal­ing your style and crash­ing your squad hangs. But at the end of the day, it is a ~ma­jor~ com­pli­ment. Your sib­ling looks at you like you’re a fiyah celeb! As her sis­ter, you should help her be more con­fi­dent and em­brace her own in­di­vid­u­al­ity. It’ll be a win-win! Bec says: Your sis­ter looks at you like the heart-eyes emoji and lit­er­ally thinks you’re the coolest per­son ever. How great is that? I un­der­stand it can be suf­fo­cat­ing though. Ex­plain that you need alone time and in­tro­duce her to fash icons like Se­lena and Cara then watch as she de­vel­ops her own in­ter­est in style. She’s just used to see­ing you slay the game!

“MY OLDER BROTHER IS OVER­PRO­TEC­TIVE AND WON’T LET ANY BOYS AT SCHOOL DATE ME.”

Bec says: This is low-key adorable, but high-key an­noy­ing. Here’s what you do. When you start dat­ing a guy, ca­su­ally let your brother know about him and re­as­sure him that you’ll tell him straight away if this guy does any­thing to hurt you. You don’t want him to hear about it from some­one else and freak out! Your brother will trust you be­cause you made that ef­fort to con­fide in him. Kim says: Your brother is a sweet­heart, but it’s not up to him who you choose to spend time with. It sounds like he plays a strong role in your life; how­ever he also needs to re­spect you as an in­di­vid­ual. Tell him that you love how car­ing he is, but it’s time for him to take a step back and let you live your own life. Then do some­thing fun with him to make him feel loved.

“MY PAR­ENTS LET MY SIB­LING GET AWAY WITH LOTS MORE THAN ME.”

Matt says: This is the ac­tual worst. The thing is, your par­ents probz don’t even no­tice they’re do­ing it – so speak up! Tell them you feel it isn’t fair that they’re show­ing le­niency to your sib­lings and none to you. This will help them be aware, and hope­fully they’ll make an ef­fort to treat you all equally. Kim says: If you are the older sib­ling and see your younger sib­ling do­ing the same things you did and get­ting away with them, this could be be­cause your par­ents learned from you. They eased up after re­al­is­ing you were stronger, smarter and more ca­pa­ble than they thought. Your sib­lings owe you big time and you can hold them to it for the rest of your lives.

“MY SIB­LING AL­WAYS DOBS ON ME TO MY PAR­ENTS.”

Matt says: Ugh, this! The best way to nip it in the bud is to act like it doesn’t faze you. When they try the whole “I’m telling Mum!” line, serve up all those IDC vibes – you could even beat them to it and fess up to your par­ents your­self. Once they see that it doesn’t bother you, dob­bing loses all its power and they’ll soon get over it. Kim says: If there are things you don’t want your par­ents to know, stop telling your sib­ling. How­ever, some­times there are things you re­ally do want your par­ents to know but feel too em­bar­rassed. This is where you can use your dob­bing sib­ling to your ad­van­tage – as they can tell your par­ents what you want them to know. This way you can talk about it with­out the pres­sure of find­ing a way to start the con­ver­sa­tion.

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