Feel like you’re constantly battling it with your bro or sis? DOLLY is here to solve your sibling squabbles.
How to turn your sibling from enemy to BFF.
You can phase out a lousy friend and dump a bad BF, but you can’t ditch a sibling – you’re both in it for the long haul. And the way that you guys interact during your younger years sets up your relationship for the rest of your life. So ask yourself: do you want a bestie by blood or a lifelong nemesis? Since you obvs want the first one, read on…
“MY SIBLING AND I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON. WE DON’T GET ALONG AT ALL.”
Matt says: This is totally normal – especially when you’re growing up. You’ve gotta focus on the things that you do have in common, like a mutual love of a Netflix show or a Playstation game that you can bond over. So in between the inevitable sibling dramz, at least you’ll find some time when you enjoy each other’s company. Kim says: Most siblings clash in the teen years ‘cos you’re both finding out who you are and what you like. Try to find something you enjoy doing together at least once a week. If you still don’t get along, be OK with having space from them. You don’t have to hate each other, simply accept you have your differences.
“SOME OF MY FRIENDS HAVE A CRUSH ON MY BROTHER.”
Bec says: Ew! The last thing you EVER want to think about is your brother kissing someone, let alone if that someone is your friend. Firstly, take it as a compliment ‘cos you share your brother’s genes – therefore you must be pretty damn attractive too. And hypothetically, if they did date, this would be the closest you’ll get to one of your besties becoming your sister. Yas! Kim says: The last thing you want is for your friend and your brother to a) like each other ‘cos you’ll be the third wheel or b) get together then break up and hate each other. My advice is to avoid conversations about your brother. When she asks about him, say as little as possible and change the subject. Help her find a new crush!
“MY SISTER FOLLOWS ME AND COPIES EVERYTHING I DO.”
Matt says: OK, this one can get annoying fast – especially if it gets to the point where she’s stealing your style and crashing your squad hangs. But at the end of the day, it is a ~major~ compliment. Your sibling looks at you like you’re a fiyah celeb! As her sister, you should help her be more confident and embrace her own individuality. It’ll be a win-win! Bec says: Your sister looks at you like the heart-eyes emoji and literally thinks you’re the coolest person ever. How great is that? I understand it can be suffocating though. Explain that you need alone time and introduce her to fash icons like Selena and Cara then watch as she develops her own interest in style. She’s just used to seeing you slay the game!
“MY OLDER BROTHER IS OVERPROTECTIVE AND WON’T LET ANY BOYS AT SCHOOL DATE ME.”
Bec says: This is low-key adorable, but high-key annoying. Here’s what you do. When you start dating a guy, casually let your brother know about him and reassure him that you’ll tell him straight away if this guy does anything to hurt you. You don’t want him to hear about it from someone else and freak out! Your brother will trust you because you made that effort to confide in him. Kim says: Your brother is a sweetheart, but it’s not up to him who you choose to spend time with. It sounds like he plays a strong role in your life; however he also needs to respect you as an individual. Tell him that you love how caring he is, but it’s time for him to take a step back and let you live your own life. Then do something fun with him to make him feel loved.
“MY PARENTS LET MY SIBLING GET AWAY WITH LOTS MORE THAN ME.”
Matt says: This is the actual worst. The thing is, your parents probz don’t even notice they’re doing it – so speak up! Tell them you feel it isn’t fair that they’re showing leniency to your siblings and none to you. This will help them be aware, and hopefully they’ll make an effort to treat you all equally. Kim says: If you are the older sibling and see your younger sibling doing the same things you did and getting away with them, this could be because your parents learned from you. They eased up after realising you were stronger, smarter and more capable than they thought. Your siblings owe you big time and you can hold them to it for the rest of your lives.
“MY SIBLING ALWAYS DOBS ON ME TO MY PARENTS.”
Matt says: Ugh, this! The best way to nip it in the bud is to act like it doesn’t faze you. When they try the whole “I’m telling Mum!” line, serve up all those IDC vibes – you could even beat them to it and fess up to your parents yourself. Once they see that it doesn’t bother you, dobbing loses all its power and they’ll soon get over it. Kim says: If there are things you don’t want your parents to know, stop telling your sibling. However, sometimes there are things you really do want your parents to know but feel too embarrassed. This is where you can use your dobbing sibling to your advantage – as they can tell your parents what you want them to know. This way you can talk about it without the pressure of finding a way to start the conversation.