HOW TO BE CON­FI­DENT WITH BOYS

To­tally freaked by the idea of talk­ing to your crush, or, uh, any guy for that mat­ter? With DOLLY’S help, you’ll be killing the game in no time.

Dolly - - Contents -

You got this, gurl.

There are some girls who just have it: some mys­ti­cal abil­ity that gives them the power to sit with the hottest guy at school, laugh­ing, flirt­ing, chat­ting and hav­ing a grand old time. Mean­while, if any boy says hi to you, you im­me­di­ately go into awk­ward hu­man mode, talk­ing non­sense and trip­ping over your own feet. Ba­si­cally, you + guys = facepalm cen­tral. Even though it seems like those Other Girls were born with th­ese mys­te­ri­ous guy-at­tract­ing pow­ers, Mar­vel he­roes they ain’t. What they DO have is con­fi­dence – and that’s some­thing you can have too.

BOY *SPACE* FRIENDS

The sim­plest way to be­come a supremely con­fi­dent boy-con­vers­ing ge­nius is to be near boys. If you al­ready have some guy mates, you have a head start. Win! Even if you are just friends and there is no at­trac­tion be­tween you, talk­ing to your male friends is good prac­tice for when a hot­tie asks you a ques­tion in sci­ence class and you have to make con­ver­sa­tion while try­ing to avoid smash­ing a test tube on the floor or set­ting fire to your sleeve with a Bun­sen burner. If you don’t have any boys in your friend­ship group, try just say­ing hi to a guy – any guy! The one next to you in class, your brother’s friends or the guys in your neigh­bour­hood... a sim­ple greet­ing can progress to ‘How are you go­ing with that English as­sign­ment?’ and all of a sud­den, you’re talk­ing to a boy! Even if you don’t like him ~that~ way, it’s good prac­tice for the fu­ture.

BE COOL

‘Cool’ in this in­stance doesn’t mean Gigi lev­els of swag. It’s all about main­tain­ing your com­po­sure and be­ing chill AF on the out­side, even if you’re all *screams in­ter­nally*. When you’re talk­ing to some­one you’re at­tracted to, it’s to­tally nor­mal to get ner­vous, turn red, have sweaty palms and for­get your grasp of the English lan­guage. But take a deep breath and re­mem­ber: he’s just a per­son, like you. Talk to him the way you would any­one else (un­less he hap­pens to be Dy­lan O’brien – then you have our per­mis­sion to squeal and pass out.) A cheat’s way to boy chat is to wait un­til you’re in a group sit­u­a­tion. Then you’re not faced with that one-on-one pres­sure – you’re keep­ing it ca­sual and there are peo­ple in­ter­act­ing around you. Work your way up to talk­ing to your crush by chat­ting to some of his friends. If you’re good at be­ing sub­tle, you might be able to get some in­side info on him!

TALK THE TALK

‘Hi’ and ‘How are you?’ are pretty much the most ba­sic phrases we have in our vo­cab­u­lary. Pro­gress­ing PAST th­ese is the hard part. Es­pe­cially when it’s with a guy you ac­tu­ally like and not just old mate from down the road. It’s no se­cret that most peo­ple are pretty com­fort­able talk­ing about them­selves, so ask him what he did on the week­end/what he’s got planned for the next one. Un­less he’s the most bor­ing hu­man on the planet, his an­swer should lead to more talk­ing points, and you’ll be able to talk about his hob­bies and in­ter­ests. Even if your first convo is brief, don’t de­spair. You can’t ex­pect to have an in­tense D&M the first time you chat to a guy! It’s all about build­ing on the re­la­tion­ship and adding to the ban­ter each time you see him. Find out what you have in com­mon and use it to your ad­van­tage. Both ob­sessed with Poke­mon Go? Ask him which ones he’s caught lately! Both hav­ing is­sues with the same nasty maths teacher? Vent your frus­tra­tions to­gether! Both hang­ing out for the next ep of The Walk­ing Dead? Bond over your mu­tual love of zom­bies! If you find out that you have ex­actly zero in com­mon, that is a warn­ing sign that he might not be the right guy for you after all.

BE YOUR OWN FAN

So you’ve got a few hang-ups. Well, you can bet ev­ery­one around you has stuff they don’t like about them­selves ei­ther. While you prob­a­bly think your crush is the most per­fect hu­man in a 100km ra­dius, he’s prob­a­bly freak­ing out that he’s shorter than his mates/has a pim­ple on his chin/missed a goal at his footy match yes­ter­day. You don’t care about any of that stuff, so give him a bit of credit – he prob­a­bly hasn’t no­ticed your skin break­out/bad hair day ei­ther! The key to con­fi­dence is to be com­fort­able with YOU. Wear out­fits that you feel great in – even if they’re not the lat­est In­sta-ap­proved trends. When your skin is mis­be­hav­ing, werk some boss braids or killer GHD curls. If it’s the hair you’re hat­ing on, rock a bright lip for in­stant feel-good vibes. If you don’t like your­self, then it is hard for other peo­ple to get on board, ya feel? What­ever in­se­cu­ri­ties you have will only be am­pli­fied by your own self-doubt – you just have to ac­cept any im­per­fec­tions you think you have and own them. After all, they make you who you are, and you want peo­ple to like you for YOU. Yes, in­clud­ing that zit on your fore­head.

RE­MEM­BER TO SMILE

For­get those baby-pink Vans you’re pes­ter­ing your par­ents to buy you – a smile is your great­est ac­ces­sory AND a se­cret con­fi­dence weapon. Who cares if you have braces or a gap be­tween your teeth – what did we just say about own­ing our im­per­fec­tions?! Smi­ley, happy peo­ple are the most en­gag­ing peo­ple. Just think, if a boy walked into a room full of grumpy-look­ing gals self-con­sciously star­ing at the floor, and one girl with a big grin on her face, who do you think he’s go­ing to hang out with? Duh, the pearly whites win ev­ery time.

DON’T FREAK OUT

The last thing to re­mem­ber is not to put too much pres­sure on your­self. You’re not go­ing to read this story and sud­denly be filled with masses of con­fi­dence, able to charm crowds of boys with­out re­ally try­ing. We have armed you with some tried-and-tested ad­vice, but you’re still go­ing to be a bit ner­vous around guys – that is only nat­u­ral. Just get out there and give it a go. There might be some cringe­wor­thy mo­ments at first, but you’ll be knock­ing their socks off soon enough. Get it, girl.

THE KEY TO CON­FI­DENCE IS TO BE COM­FORT­ABLE WITH YOU.

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