HOW TO BE CONFIDENT WITH BOYS
Totally freaked by the idea of talking to your crush, or, uh, any guy for that matter? With DOLLY’S help, you’ll be killing the game in no time.
You got this, gurl.
There are some girls who just have it: some mystical ability that gives them the power to sit with the hottest guy at school, laughing, flirting, chatting and having a grand old time. Meanwhile, if any boy says hi to you, you immediately go into awkward human mode, talking nonsense and tripping over your own feet. Basically, you + guys = facepalm central. Even though it seems like those Other Girls were born with these mysterious guy-attracting powers, Marvel heroes they ain’t. What they DO have is confidence – and that’s something you can have too.
BOY *SPACE* FRIENDS
The simplest way to become a supremely confident boy-conversing genius is to be near boys. If you already have some guy mates, you have a head start. Win! Even if you are just friends and there is no attraction between you, talking to your male friends is good practice for when a hottie asks you a question in science class and you have to make conversation while trying to avoid smashing a test tube on the floor or setting fire to your sleeve with a Bunsen burner. If you don’t have any boys in your friendship group, try just saying hi to a guy – any guy! The one next to you in class, your brother’s friends or the guys in your neighbourhood... a simple greeting can progress to ‘How are you going with that English assignment?’ and all of a sudden, you’re talking to a boy! Even if you don’t like him ~that~ way, it’s good practice for the future.
‘Cool’ in this instance doesn’t mean Gigi levels of swag. It’s all about maintaining your composure and being chill AF on the outside, even if you’re all *screams internally*. When you’re talking to someone you’re attracted to, it’s totally normal to get nervous, turn red, have sweaty palms and forget your grasp of the English language. But take a deep breath and remember: he’s just a person, like you. Talk to him the way you would anyone else (unless he happens to be Dylan O’brien – then you have our permission to squeal and pass out.) A cheat’s way to boy chat is to wait until you’re in a group situation. Then you’re not faced with that one-on-one pressure – you’re keeping it casual and there are people interacting around you. Work your way up to talking to your crush by chatting to some of his friends. If you’re good at being subtle, you might be able to get some inside info on him!
TALK THE TALK
‘Hi’ and ‘How are you?’ are pretty much the most basic phrases we have in our vocabulary. Progressing PAST these is the hard part. Especially when it’s with a guy you actually like and not just old mate from down the road. It’s no secret that most people are pretty comfortable talking about themselves, so ask him what he did on the weekend/what he’s got planned for the next one. Unless he’s the most boring human on the planet, his answer should lead to more talking points, and you’ll be able to talk about his hobbies and interests. Even if your first convo is brief, don’t despair. You can’t expect to have an intense D&M the first time you chat to a guy! It’s all about building on the relationship and adding to the banter each time you see him. Find out what you have in common and use it to your advantage. Both obsessed with Pokemon Go? Ask him which ones he’s caught lately! Both having issues with the same nasty maths teacher? Vent your frustrations together! Both hanging out for the next ep of The Walking Dead? Bond over your mutual love of zombies! If you find out that you have exactly zero in common, that is a warning sign that he might not be the right guy for you after all.
BE YOUR OWN FAN
So you’ve got a few hang-ups. Well, you can bet everyone around you has stuff they don’t like about themselves either. While you probably think your crush is the most perfect human in a 100km radius, he’s probably freaking out that he’s shorter than his mates/has a pimple on his chin/missed a goal at his footy match yesterday. You don’t care about any of that stuff, so give him a bit of credit – he probably hasn’t noticed your skin breakout/bad hair day either! The key to confidence is to be comfortable with YOU. Wear outfits that you feel great in – even if they’re not the latest Insta-approved trends. When your skin is misbehaving, werk some boss braids or killer GHD curls. If it’s the hair you’re hating on, rock a bright lip for instant feel-good vibes. If you don’t like yourself, then it is hard for other people to get on board, ya feel? Whatever insecurities you have will only be amplified by your own self-doubt – you just have to accept any imperfections you think you have and own them. After all, they make you who you are, and you want people to like you for YOU. Yes, including that zit on your forehead.
REMEMBER TO SMILE
Forget those baby-pink Vans you’re pestering your parents to buy you – a smile is your greatest accessory AND a secret confidence weapon. Who cares if you have braces or a gap between your teeth – what did we just say about owning our imperfections?! Smiley, happy people are the most engaging people. Just think, if a boy walked into a room full of grumpy-looking gals self-consciously staring at the floor, and one girl with a big grin on her face, who do you think he’s going to hang out with? Duh, the pearly whites win every time.
DON’T FREAK OUT
The last thing to remember is not to put too much pressure on yourself. You’re not going to read this story and suddenly be filled with masses of confidence, able to charm crowds of boys without really trying. We have armed you with some tried-and-tested advice, but you’re still going to be a bit nervous around guys – that is only natural. Just get out there and give it a go. There might be some cringeworthy moments at first, but you’ll be knocking their socks off soon enough. Get it, girl.
THE KEY TO CONFIDENCE IS TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOU.