’Cos Mum and Dad aren’t al­ways right.

Dolly - - Contents -

DOLLY ex­plains how to deal when your ’rents don’t share your love for your BFF.

So you’ve found your ~ul­ti­mate~ ride or die, but your par­ents Just. Can’t. Stand. Her. This can be a mega awk­ward sitch when you wanna plan a sick sleepover or go to an awe­some party to­gether but your par­ents refuse to let you go ’cos they think she’s to­tal bad news. This was the case for Brit­ney*, 17, who was su­per tight with her best friend Ca­rina un­til an in­ci­dent at her school re­sulted in her mum for­bid­ding her from hang­ing with Ca­rina. “One day, a girl from our squad brought al­co­hol to school. I re­fused to get in­volved, but Ca­rina joined in and some­one dobbed on us. We were all called in to see the prin­ci­pal and be­cause Ca­rina swore at him she got ex­pelled. “When mum found out, she was like ‘I don’t want you to see her any­more’. I was re­ally hurt – she was my friend and I still wanted to hang out with her. I had to keep mak­ing up ex­cuses ev­ery time she asked me to go over. I even­tu­ally told her my mum didn’t want me hang­ing out with her, and our friend­ship started to fiz­zle out. “Then she moved away to her dad’s house in ru­ral NSW and didn’t have much ac­cess to her phone or the in­ter­net, but I still wanted to stay in touch, so we said we’d write to each other; I sent her heaps of let­ters but I never got any­thing back. “Months later, I was in my mum’s room and I found let­ters that Ca­rina had sent that my mum had hid­den! I was re­ally an­gry – I felt like it was a vi­o­la­tion of my pri­vacy! We had a big blow-up about it. “The thing is, though, this all made me re­alise that who you hang out with at school rubs off on you. Like, when teach­ers see what your group does, they think you’re part of it, even if your friends do bad things and you don’t. And I def­i­nitely didn’t want that rep­u­ta­tion, ’cos that’s not me at all.” While Brit­ney even­tu­ally un­der­stood her mum’s rea­sons for not lik­ing her friend, if you gen­uinely be­lieve your bestie is a good per­son, psy­chother­a­pist Dr Karen Phillip (drkaren­phillip.com) says you should speak up. “Tell your par­ents how car­ing, sup­port­ive and nice your best friend is,” she ad­vises. “Give ex­am­ples of how your friend has made a pos­i­tive ef­fect on your life, like the fact she al­ways knows how to pick you up when you’re feel­ing down or that you study well to­gether.”

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