WHEN YOUR PARENTS DON’T LIKE YOUR BESTIE/ WHEN YOUR BESTIE’S PARENTS DON’T LIKE YOU
’Cos Mum and Dad aren’t always right.
DOLLY explains how to deal when your ’rents don’t share your love for your BFF.
So you’ve found your ~ultimate~ ride or die, but your parents Just. Can’t. Stand. Her. This can be a mega awkward sitch when you wanna plan a sick sleepover or go to an awesome party together but your parents refuse to let you go ’cos they think she’s total bad news. This was the case for Britney*, 17, who was super tight with her best friend Carina until an incident at her school resulted in her mum forbidding her from hanging with Carina. “One day, a girl from our squad brought alcohol to school. I refused to get involved, but Carina joined in and someone dobbed on us. We were all called in to see the principal and because Carina swore at him she got expelled. “When mum found out, she was like ‘I don’t want you to see her anymore’. I was really hurt – she was my friend and I still wanted to hang out with her. I had to keep making up excuses every time she asked me to go over. I eventually told her my mum didn’t want me hanging out with her, and our friendship started to fizzle out. “Then she moved away to her dad’s house in rural NSW and didn’t have much access to her phone or the internet, but I still wanted to stay in touch, so we said we’d write to each other; I sent her heaps of letters but I never got anything back. “Months later, I was in my mum’s room and I found letters that Carina had sent that my mum had hidden! I was really angry – I felt like it was a violation of my privacy! We had a big blow-up about it. “The thing is, though, this all made me realise that who you hang out with at school rubs off on you. Like, when teachers see what your group does, they think you’re part of it, even if your friends do bad things and you don’t. And I definitely didn’t want that reputation, ’cos that’s not me at all.” While Britney eventually understood her mum’s reasons for not liking her friend, if you genuinely believe your bestie is a good person, psychotherapist Dr Karen Phillip (drkarenphillip.com) says you should speak up. “Tell your parents how caring, supportive and nice your best friend is,” she advises. “Give examples of how your friend has made a positive effect on your life, like the fact she always knows how to pick you up when you’re feeling down or that you study well together.”