Dramz with the ex? We got you.

Dolly - - Contents -

“My ex-bf is to­tally clingy and won’t leave me alone.”

ARI­ANA SAYS: Is there any­thing worse than a clingy ex?! Even though he’s an­noy­ing you, be kind and meet up with him for a cof­fee or af­ter-school chat to let him express his feel­ings for you. When you catch up, make it clear that your re­la­tion­ship has ended and that you need a lit­tle space, and maybe af­ter some time you two can be friends. KIM SAYS: It’s hard to know what the bound­aries are, es­pe­cially when you’re used to be­ing so close. Usu­ally one per­son ends up want­ing more, which is what sounds like is hap­pen­ing here. Let him know where you stand and how you feel. The other thing you can do is look at how you act with him – do you do any­thing to en­cour­age his clingi­ness? Per­haps there is some­thing you can do to put some ob­vi­ous space be­tween the two of you.

“I’m into my ex’s friend!”

ARI­ANA SAYS: Re­mem­ber, it’s pretty much girl code to never date a bestie’s ex, and the same goes for guys too – so your ex-boyfriend’s pal might be wary of ‘go­ing there’ with you. Be sure that you’re not just pre­tend­ing to be into his friend to try to hurt your ex’s feel­ings. If you’re re­ally into him, it could be worth a shot – just tread care­fully. JOSIE SAYS: I once fell for my ex’s mate, and I think my feel­ings were am­pli­fied be­cause I saw them both at school ev­ery day! You have to as­sess the sit­u­a­tion and see whether it’s worth hurt­ing your ex and ru­in­ing his friend­ship over. If you re­ally can’t stop think­ing about his friend and you’re get­ting the same ~vibes~ from him, you both need to talk about how to pro­ceed. Oth­er­wise (and this is what I did) just wait for the feel­ings to pass. Af­ter all, there are plenty of good­look­ing fish in the sea!

“I still have feel­ings for my ex, but he’s al­ready moved on.”

JOSIE SAYS: This is se­ri­ously the most aw­ful feel­ing. It’s scary how the sec­ond you hear your ex is see­ing some­one else you sud­denly feel unattrac­tive and worth­less. You com­pare your­self to her and won­der what she has that you don’t – but this is a dan­ger­ous trap to fall into. So he couldn’t see what an in­cred­i­ble per­son you are – that just means there is some­one more wor­thy out there for you. KIM SAYS: Although you know he’s moved on, you hold onto that glim­mer of hope and it can be re­ally hard to let go. Un­for­tu­nately, the only thing that’s go­ing to help is time. Start fo­cus­ing on you, your friends and the things you love to do. Keep your­self busy and, if you’re feel­ing brave enough, take some time to meet new peo­ple. The more new ex­pe­ri­ences you al­low your­self to have right now, the eas­ier it will be­come.

“My ex is talk­ing about me to his friends be­hind my back.”

KIM SAYS: He’s only talk­ing about you be­cause he still has feel­ings for you in some way, so use that to your ad­van­tage and ig­nore him; soon enough, peo­ple will re­alise he’s still into you and you are over him. Un­for­tu­nately, you can’t stop some­one else from do­ing or say­ing what they want, so it’s best just to fo­cus on you. It’s time to put this guy – and his friends – be­hind you once and for all.

ARI­ANA SAYS: What a real Prince Charm­ing! This kind of sitch calls for you to take the high road – never stoop to his level! Of course you’ll feel anger, frus­tra­tion and pain be­cause he has be­trayed you, but just ac­knowl­edge these feel­ings and let them go. What he says about you doesn’t mat­ter. Don’t give him the val­i­da­tion he seeks by show­ing that it’s tear­ing you down. Gos­sip is only gos­sip.

“I have a new BF and my par­ents keep com­par­ing him to my ex, who they loved.”

ARI­ANA SAYS: This hap­pened to my best friend and, oddly enough, her par­ents still see her ex – years later! Ugh, awks. If your folks are do­ing the same thing, gen­tly re­mind them that if they ap­proved of your past choices, they should be con­fi­dent with your new ones, and in this case that means a new BF. Let them know that you’ve moved on and kindly ask them to jump on the same band­wagon. KIM SAYS: Par­ents can be so frus­trat­ing when they for­get it’s your life, not theirs. The best thing you can do right now is sit down with them and have a se­ri­ous con­ver­sa­tion. Be the adult in the sit­u­a­tion and po­litely let them know how their be­hav­iour is mak­ing you feel. If they see you tak­ing a ma­ture ap­proach, they will have no choice but to take you se­ri­ously. Let them know how im­por­tant it is that they open up and give your new guy a go.

“My best friend keeps say­ing ‘I told you he was a loser!’”

ARI­ANA SAYS: We’ve all had that ‘I told you so’ friend in our lives, and they usu­ally come out with it at the worst times. Pretty sure you don’t want to hear that the per­son you dated turned out to be loser – like, hello, pos­si­bly why we broke up in the first place! Just speak to your BFF and make a joke of it. Play it off and say “Yes, you told me so – he was, so let’s move on”. JOSIE SAYS: Just be­cause you’ve bro­ken up with some­one doesn’t mean you have to hate them after­wards. Feel­ings still re­main – re­la­tion­ships are com­pli­cated like that, but it’s a bit more black and white for your bestie. She loves you and he wasn’t right for you, so she’s just re­act­ing in that pro­tec­tive best friend way. Just re­mind her you’re feel­ing a lit­tle vul­ner­a­ble right now and that she’s not re­ally help­ing.

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