pri­vacy no­tice

ELLE (Australia) - - Contents -

But why wait? Why not tell him now? Why not recog­nise that he’s just a frag­ile, self­ish, thought­less, rather silly fel­low who prob­a­bly doesn’t even know that if you en­joy sex, he’ll en­joy more sex? Why give up years of de­li­cious, teeth-grind­ing plea­sure be­cause you’re afraid to speak up? He can take it. Tell him the truth, straight out.

HOUS­ING CRI­SIS

DEAR E JEAN, I’m 25 and for­tu­nate enough to have been given a not-in­signif­i­cant amount of money by my fam­ily. I have a great job that pays my bills and I live a pretty nor­mal life – my friends know I’m com­fort­able, but they don’t know how com­fort­able. I’ve been look­ing for a new apart­ment, and I’m con­sid­er­ing buy­ing in­stead of rent­ing. I can eas­ily af­ford the de­posit with the money I’ve in­her­ited, and a mort­gage pay­ment would be just slightly more than what I pay in rent. I want to put down roots, have my own place and be able to re­ally feel at home, not to men­tion make a great in­vest­ment. But I’m wor­ried this will alien­ate me from my friends and boyfriend, who are in their mid-twen­ties and just mak­ing ends meet. I’m also wor­ried that 25 is too young to be mak­ing such a huge com­mit­ment. Should I buy a place of my own or put it off for a few years? – Big De­ci­sion MISS BIG, MY BEGONIA The tragedy of your dilemma is not that you’re too young to buy an apart­ment, but that you’re too old. You could have started in­vest­ing even sooner. Buy it! Your friends and boyfriend al­ready know you’re well off and still love you, so just let Aun­tie E know where to send the house-warm­ing gift.

MEET­ING MR 100 PER CENT RIGHT

DEAR E JEAN, I live in a vi­brant city, I have a job that’s stim­u­lat­ing and friends I love, and yet I have trou­ble meet­ing men. It’s like I’m caught in a Venn di­a­gram with only a small num­ber of guys in the in­ter­sec­tion. I’m an athe­ist, a feminist and child-free – im­por­tant qual­i­ties a prospec­tive part­ner must share. I also have an IQ over 140 and would love to find some­one just as lucky. I’m open to dat­ing fit men (they should be very into ex­er­cise) of any race, height, ap­pear­ance or in­come. See, I’m very rea­son­able about some things! The ic­ing on the cake: I’m into many forms of non-vanilla sex. Yet this re­stricts my search even more. Given the cross­sec­tion of qual­i­ties I’m seek­ing, what’s your ad­vice? – Empty Venn Di­a­gram VENN, MY VI­O­LET I know you’re a non-be­liever, but God her­self couldn’t find a chap who fits into this di­a­gram. Get rid of it. The heroic re­quire­ments bristling in your let­ter boil down to just three – which I’ll re­veal at the end of this an­swer. But first, Miss Venn, let us turn to the real ques­tion: who is more successful at find­ing love? Women with long lists of ro­man­tic re­quire­ments or women with short lists? I de­cided to an­a­lyse the data from Tawk­ify, the match­mak­ing com­pany that I co-founded. The re­sults: look­ing at more than 1,000 dates (evening strolls, polo matches, pic­nics, wine tast­ings, etc) over the course of a month, the women who stip­u­lated eight or fewer re­quire­ments for po­ten­tial mates en­joyed nearly three times the suc­cess of women who listed be­tween nine and 34 re­quire­ments. (Here, “suc­cess” is de­fined as both peo­ple on the date want­ing to see each other again.)

A chick with an IQ as high as 140 can’t have much dif­fi­culty in com­pre­hend­ing why the short-list women tore the long-list women to shreds. A short-lis­ter is open to possibilities. A chap has a chance to cap­ti­vate a short-lis­ter with at­trac­tions she didn’t even know she wanted, and when a woman is cap­ti­vated, it ig­nites a pow­er­ful fire in a fel­low. So, old girl, shall we give a boost to your love life and whit­tle down that list of yours? I ad­vise you to seek a smart, open-minded guy who will tie you to the shower-cur­tain rod.

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