Empire (Australasia) - - CONTENTS - WORDS SI­MON CROOK

How much of her ca­reer can she re­call?

Hail, Maria? Or fail, Maria?

What do you dress up as to se­duce Viggo Mortensen in A His­tory Of Vi­o­lence? A cheer­leader. You see David Cro­nen­berg’s films and think he’s in­sane, but he’s the loveli­est guy. That movie was the great­est act­ing ex­pe­ri­ence of my life. Hey, here’s a chal­lenge for Em­pire’s read­ers: in one of the bed­room scenes, see if they can spot the plas­tic seabass. We had this thing about hid­ing fish in var­i­ous scenes and it got way out of con­trol. Cor­rect.

Which dogs does Jo­ce­lyn breed in The Jane Austen Book Club? No idea. [Hears an­swer] Rhode­sian Ridge­back? How can I for­get that! My ex is from Rhode­sia. I don’t re­mem­ber the dogs as much as I re­mem­ber the cast. The di­rec­tor [Robin Swicord] made us do an ac­tual book club and the only per­son who read all the books was Mag­gie Grace. Shame­ful, right? I was the worst book club mem­ber. The cor­rect an­swer is Rhode­sian Ridge­back.

In As­sault On Precinct 13, Ja Rule guesses your star sign. Which is? Easy — Aries, the same as my own star sign. Cor­rect.

In Thank You For Smok­ing, David Koech­ner’s Bobby Jay Bliss tells you the se­cret to fool­ing a breath­a­lyzer. What is it — and what’s the slo­gan you cre­ate? I don’t know. It’s crazy to think that was Ja­son Reit­man’s first film — he was like a baby di­rec­tor back then. I love those char­ac­ters: they de­served their own sit­com spin-off. The cor­rect an­swer is by chew­ing ac­ti­vated char­coal tablets. The slo­gan is: “If you must drink and drive, suck char­coal.”

In The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Em­peror, Eve­lyn asks, “What is that go­daw­ful smell?” What is it? Yak shit? No, wait… Yak sick! “The yak yakked!” Cor­rect.

In Lights Out, you en­joy a movie night with your son. Which film do you watch? You got me there. [Hears the an­swer] Aun­tie what? Never heard of it. We pre­tended we were watch­ing the movie while we were shoot­ing then they added it dig­i­tally. You know, I’ve al­ways wanted to see a ghost. I stayed at the Padre Ho­tel in Bak­ers­field where two phan­tom girls walk the hall­ways, and set the alarm for 3am. They didn’t show up. The cor­rect an­swer is Aun­tie Mame.

“Slow down, honey” is a line from which of your movies? The Cooler? No? [Hears the an­swer] It was Grown Ups? Peo­ple still talk about that scene be­cause I’m breast­feed­ing, like, a five-year-old! The cor­rect an­swer is Grown Ups.

Lil lists her five favourite men in Coy­ote Ugly. Who are they? They’re all liquor. Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black… and… Argh! José! I was a bar­tender in the West Vil­lage a year be­fore I was cast in that movie so I didn’t do any re­search: I was Lil. I was the girl run­ning around in cow­boy boots, hang­ing out at Hogs & Heifers and get­ting into fights. Cor­rect.

When you first hook up with Wil­liam H. Macy’s Bernie in The Cooler, you ask for some mu­sic. What record does he put on? [Starts singing] ‘Luck, be a lady tonight…’ Bill and me were naked so much on set that we threw a ‘Show Us Your Ass’ party on the last day. We had a pho­to­booth and prizes for Most Orig­i­nal Ass, Hottest Ass, Most Artis­tic Ass… There’s a book some­where of the en­tire crew’s asses. Cor­rect.

10 Since ER, you’ve played two doc­tors. Which films do they ap­pear in? I was a psy­chi­a­trist in As­sault On Precinct 13. What the fuck was the other one? [Hears an­swer] De­monic? I’ve still not seen that film! Half a point. The cor­rect an­swer is Dr Alex Sabian (As­sault On Precinct 13) and Dr El­iz­a­beth Klein (De­monic).

MARIA BELLO SCORES 5.5 “I have a ter­ri­ble mem­ory. Peo­ple ask me what I ate for lunch yes­ter­day and I don’t even re­mem­ber that. But that was fun.”


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