THE GRILL BRENDAN GLEESON
So just how smooth is the arse of Mad-eye Moody?
Do you have a nickname?
I used to be known as Flying Shite. I was very quick over 10 yards. I don’t know if it was meant entirely as a compliment.
When were you last naked outdoors?
Very recently. It was in a pool in the garden of a house I was staying in. No, I wasn’t sneaking into someone’s pool naked.
What one thing do you do better than anyone else
you know? Obfuscate.
What character were you in your first-ever school play?
I was the Piper in The Pied Piper Of Hamelin. Everyone else played rats.
From one to 10, how hairy is your arse?
Well, I couldn’t say for sure, because I haven’t had enough of a close look, but I think only about a two-and-a-half. I appear naturally waxed.
Which movie have you seen the most?
Oddly, it’s Braveheart [which Gleeson was in]. Not deliberately, but any time it’s on TV I find myself sucked in and needing to watch to the end. I wouldn’t call it my favourite film, but I’ve seen it the most. I think it’s great.
Do you have any scars?
Several, but I have one at the top of my forehead that I got when I was a boy riding my bike and carrying soccer boots. The laces got caught in the wheel and I went over the handle bars. I’m convinced I was knocked out, but I can’t prove it.
Do you have a tattoo?
I don’t, because I’m an actor. I absolutely don’t understand actors who are covered in tattoos and then have to get them all covered up every day on set. Why have them? You’re supposed to
be a blank slate.
What is your favourite animal?
Dogs, because they never hold grudges. Unless you get them wet, and even then it’s very short-lived.
What is your earliest memory?
Reading a story about a daddy horse, a mummy horse and a baby horse, aged three. I remember getting to the bit about the baby horse and saying, “That’s me.” I’ve always thought of myself as a lovely foal with an unusually smooth arse. That sounds weirdly like a baboon, doesn’t it?
What’s the strangest place you’ve ever thrown up? It was on a sofa in a hotel hallway. I’d got out of bed to be ill and instead of going right into the bathroom, I went out into the corridor and the door shut behind me. I tried to make a dash for the nearest toilet down the hall, but I didn’t make it. I’m not sure I was wearing anything.
Aliens land on Earth and demand to see a double bill of your movies or they’ll blow up the world. What do you choose?
I’m going to give you three, because I refuse to choose between the Mcdonaghs [directors Martin and John Michael]. So In Bruges and The Guard from them. And I’d add The General, because it was just the most special experience. The aliens will have to make more time.
HAMPSTEAD IS IN CINEMAS FROM 17 AUGUST