So just how smooth is the arse of Mad-eye Moody?

Empire (Australasia) - - Preview - WORDS OLLY RICHARDS

Do you have a nick­name?

I used to be known as Fly­ing Shite. I was very quick over 10 yards. I don’t know if it was meant en­tirely as a com­pli­ment.

When were you last naked out­doors?

Very re­cently. It was in a pool in the gar­den of a house I was stay­ing in. No, I wasn’t sneak­ing into some­one’s pool naked.

What one thing do you do bet­ter than any­one else

you know? Ob­fus­cate.

What char­ac­ter were you in your first-ever school play?

I was the Piper in The Pied Piper Of Hamelin. Ev­ery­one else played rats.

From one to 10, how hairy is your arse?

Well, I couldn’t say for sure, be­cause I haven’t had enough of a close look, but I think only about a two-and-a-half. I ap­pear nat­u­rally waxed.

Which movie have you seen the most?

Oddly, it’s Brave­heart [which Glee­son was in]. Not de­lib­er­ately, but any time it’s on TV I find my­self sucked in and need­ing to watch to the end. I wouldn’t call it my favourite film, but I’ve seen it the most. I think it’s great.

Do you have any scars?

Sev­eral, but I have one at the top of my fore­head that I got when I was a boy rid­ing my bike and car­ry­ing soc­cer boots. The laces got caught in the wheel and I went over the han­dle bars. I’m con­vinced I was knocked out, but I can’t prove it.

Do you have a tat­too?

I don’t, be­cause I’m an ac­tor. I ab­so­lutely don’t un­der­stand ac­tors who are cov­ered in tat­toos and then have to get them all cov­ered up ev­ery day on set. Why have them? You’re sup­posed to

be a blank slate.

What is your favourite an­i­mal?

Dogs, be­cause they never hold grudges. Un­less you get them wet, and even then it’s very short-lived.

What is your ear­li­est mem­ory?

Read­ing a story about a daddy horse, a mummy horse and a baby horse, aged three. I re­mem­ber get­ting to the bit about the baby horse and say­ing, “That’s me.” I’ve al­ways thought of my­self as a lovely foal with an unusu­ally smooth arse. That sounds weirdly like a ba­boon, doesn’t it?

What’s the strangest place you’ve ever thrown up? It was on a sofa in a ho­tel hall­way. I’d got out of bed to be ill and in­stead of go­ing right into the bath­room, I went out into the cor­ri­dor and the door shut be­hind me. I tried to make a dash for the near­est toi­let down the hall, but I didn’t make it. I’m not sure I was wear­ing any­thing.

Aliens land on Earth and de­mand to see a double bill of your movies or they’ll blow up the world. What do you choose?

I’m go­ing to give you three, be­cause I refuse to choose be­tween the Mc­don­aghs [di­rec­tors Martin and John Michael]. So In Bruges and The Guard from them. And I’d add The Gen­eral, be­cause it was just the most spe­cial ex­pe­ri­ence. The aliens will have to make more time.


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