“I’VE JUST SPENT THE LAST TWO HOURS DE­TAIL­ING MY CAR.” NO, YOU HAVEN’T AB­SO­LUTE YOU TOOL, YOU’VE JUST SPENT TWO HOURS CLEAN­ING IT!

Fast Car - - Up Front -

It’s the same men­tal­ity as those peo­ple with dig­i­tal SLR cam­eras who call them­selves pho­tog­ra­phers. Or those girls who hand out fly­ers at shows call­ing them­selves mod­els.

De­tail­ing a car doesn’t take two hours. It takes at least two days. It’s a pro­fes­sion, an art form and a skill. Just be­cause you’ve got two bloody buck­ets and a snow-foam lance doesn’t mean you’ve be­come a de­tailer.

Christ all mighty. You don’t say you’ve de­tailed your bog be­cause you’ve sprayed it with some Cil­lit Bang and wiped it with a flan­nel.

What you’ve just done is valet your car. And even that’s an over­state­ment un­less you’ve got the Dyson out.

So un­less you’re pre­pared to go over your paint­work with a clay bar, cor­rect it with a mop, ap­ply pol­ish and then wax, be­fore start­ing the in­te­rior fab­ric, glass and wheel clean. Don’t di­lute the mean­ing of the word and pro­fes­sion that is de­tail­ing.

The An­gry Man

Dis­claimer: The opin­ions ex­pressed herein are not nec­es­sar­ily those of Fast

Car or the pub­lisher. So fuck you ;-)

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.