Fraser Coast Chronicle - - NEWS | OPINION -

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wear­ing party hats, sun­glasses and stream­ers? I feel sorry for them be­cause ob­vi­ously they were at a party hav­ing a good time...

— Ellen De­Generes

Did you know that ba­bies are nau­se­ated by the smell of a clean shirt?

— Jeff Fox­wor­thy

I'm on the diet where you eat veg­eta­bles and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 kg and my driver's li­cence.

— Larry the Ca­ble Guy

How many peo­ple have tele­ki­netic pow­ers? Raise my hand.

— Emo Philips

Garbage­men come at 5am. Why? They're pick­ing up garbage. It's not go­ing to go bad again.

— Dave At­tel

I will clean house when Sears makes a vac­uum cleaner you can ride on.

— Roseanne

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