( Dead Space)
Yo yo, what’s the haps my dudes?! My name’s MC Unit-E, and I’m here today to talk to you all about the totally fly importance of faith, devotion, and the blessed teachings of the prophet Michael Altman. Altman be praised, yo! Now I know you kids are some wicked cool cats, am I right? Did I say that right? Gnarly. So let me pull up a backwards chair real quick and spit a few lyrics for y’all.
“Yo life seemed dark, an’ it was getting way darker. Then my main Prophet Mike got his hands on tha Marker! So forget what you heard about flesh-ripped freaks, and get tappin your foot to Unitology’s beat! But Mr MC, I’ve been hearing the word, about a crazy new cult that’s just absurd! Well now you can relax, ’cause it’s safe to be said – that all of y’all kids’ll be better off dead!” Altman bay-bee!
Where are you going? Come back! We can try again with a guitar and tambourine if you prefer…
“Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour: Gorespiders?”