Uni­tol­ogy

( Dead Space)

Games Master - - Special Exclusive Feature! -

Yo yo, what’s the haps my dudes?! My name’s MC Unit-E, and I’m here to­day to talk to you all about the to­tally fly im­por­tance of faith, de­vo­tion, and the blessed teach­ings of the prophet Michael Alt­man. Alt­man be praised, yo! Now I know you kids are some wicked cool cats, am I right? Did I say that right? Gnarly. So let me pull up a back­wards chair real quick and spit a few lyrics for y’all.

“Yo life seemed dark, an’ it was get­ting way darker. Then my main Prophet Mike got his hands on tha Marker! So for­get what you heard about flesh-ripped freaks, and get tap­pin your foot to Uni­tol­ogy’s beat! But Mr MC, I’ve been hear­ing the word, about a crazy new cult that’s just ab­surd! Well now you can re­lax, ’cause it’s safe to be said – that all of y’all kids’ll be better off dead!” Alt­man bay-bee!

Where are you go­ing? Come back! We can try again with a gui­tar and tam­bourine if you pre­fer…

“Ex­cuse me sir, do you have a mo­ment to talk about our lord and saviour: Gorespi­ders?”

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