Bestie SOS

The gor­geous vlog­ger dishes out ad­vice on friend­ship dramz.

Girlfriend - - WINTER 2017 -

Jess Conte solves your friend­ship dra­mas

we don’t have to tell you how ob­sessed with Jess Conte we are. She’s smart, tal­ented, funny and stylish. Se­ri­ously, the girl is ev­ery­thing goals! Turns out, she’s also re­ally knowl­edge­able when it comes to friend­ship is­sues, and gives su­per help­ful ad­vice. We got Jess to an­swer some of your ques­tions – which tbh every­one ex­pe­ri­ences at some point in their life.

Hi Jess,

My bestie and I have been friends since we started pri­mary school, but we went to dif­fer­ent high schools and I feel like we’re drift­ing apart. How can I make sure we stay close? Love April xox

Hey April!

I think the main thing is for you to reach out to her. Invite her over for a sleep­over, go to the movies, spend some qual­ity time to­gether, and maybe even let her know how you’re feel­ing. I’ve known my best friend since we were three, and for most of our lives we have lived in dif­fer­ent cities. But when­ever we saw each other, noth­ing changed. If you don’t see your bestie a lot, maybe FaceTime to catch up :) Jess x

Hey Jess,

My par­ents are a lot stricter than my friends’ par­ents and some­times I miss out on squad hangs be­cause I’m not al­lowed to go. I’m pretty em­bar­rassed about it, so I lie and say that I’m sick or I have a fam­ily com­mit­ment. I’m wor­ried they’re start­ing to think I’m a flake, but I don’t want to tell them the truth coz they might think I’m lame. What should I do? Love from Kr­ishna

Hey Kr­ishna :) I know it might be em­bar­rass­ing or hard, but try to be so proud of who you are. Your par­ents are strict be­cause they love you so much, so try and have a pos­i­tive out­look on it. My ad­vice for you is to cre­ate squad hangs at places your par­ents are OK with. Maybe a sleep­over at your house? Jess x

Hi Jess!

I’m kind of shy and I’m not very pop­u­lar or cool, I don’t have a group and every­one else does. I re­ally want a tight group of friends coz I feel like I’m miss­ing out, but I don’t know how to go about it. Love from Lila

Hey Lila,

Def­i­nitely don’t try to rush into a friend­ship group, be­cause I think you’ll find your­self just try­ing to be like them for them to like you and you don’t want to do that. :) Def­i­nitely make sure you stay true to who you are – be your­self – be­cause peo­ple will love that. If you’re want­ing to try and make some friends, I would sug­gest to try and just start hav­ing lit­tle con­ver­sa­tions with peo­ple day-by-day. Start by say­ing ‘hello’ in the morn­ing when peo­ple ar­rive at school and ‘good­bye’ when peo­ple are leav­ing. Just start that in­ter­ac­tion and con­ver­sa­tion. You could even ask how their week­end was! Jess x

Hey Jess,

My boyfriend and I broke up, and I let my friend­ships slide while I was with him – now I’m lost. I could re­ally do with a friend right now, but I don’t know how to go back when I’m the one that dis­ap­pointed them. From Made­line xx

Hey Made­line!

This is a tricky one and I’m sorry you’re in this sit­u­a­tion. Hon­estly, the best ad­vice I could give would be to just go back to your friends. For me, I love giv­ing gifts and be­ing sen­ti­men­tal. So I might go get their favourite choco­lates, sit them down and ex­plain how much you missed them and how sorry you are for let­ting your friend­ship slide. I’m sure they’re go­ing to be so glad you came back! Just make sure in fu­ture to keep your girls close no mat­ter what. <3 Jess x

Hey Jess,

My bestie copies ev­ery­thing I do.

She buys the same clothes as me, she al­ways just agrees with ev­ery­thing I say, and even though she wasn’t into 5SOS at all, now she loves them be­cause I do. I know it’s meant to be flat­ter­ing, but I find it re­ally an­noy­ing. I liked her per­son­al­ity when it was her own, I want to say some­thing, but I don’t want to of­fend her. Love Tah­nee

Hey Tah­nee,

To be hon­est, I think this is some­thing a lot of girls go through – I def­i­nitely have. I think it’s a very nat­u­ral thing when you be­come so close with some­one that you adopt their man­ner­isms, you start lik­ing what they like, and so on. Def­i­nitely try to see the pos­i­tive side in that you both have so much to bond over, talk about and do to­gether. But if it does con­tinue to up­set you, I’d find a way to gen­tly bring it up with her. If I was in the sit­u­a­tion, I would ex­plain that I love how much we have in com­mon and how she likes so much of the same things I do, but that I don’t want her to like those things and wear those clothes just be­cause I do – that I love her so much just as she is and for ev­ery­thing she loves, be­cause it makes her unique. :) Jess x

Dear Jess,

I’ve started to feel like I’m not that happy in the group I’m in. I don’t know what to do though, be­cause every­one kinda has their friend­ship groups so I feel awk­ward try­ing to join an­other one. What should I do? From Chloe x

Hey Chloe :)

Don’t worry about how you’re feel­ing right now, it is a to­tally nor­mal thing to go through – and some­times mak­ing new friends is hard. Friend­ships also shouldn’t be forced, so if you don’t feel happy in the group you’re in, it’s OK! Do you have any dif­fer­ent friends that you sit with in classes, who are in a dif­fer­ent group? If so, I’d ask if you could sit with them at lunch and see how that goes. If you love it, then slowly tran­si­tion your­self into that group. You def­i­nitely don’t want to up­set the group you’re in at the mo­ment, so make sure they know that you still love them and that they haven’t done any­thing that has up­set you. If you can, still hang out with your old group ev­ery now and then to keep the friend­ship, even if they aren’t your main group any­more. Good luck, and please don’t worry too much about it – ev­ery­thing will be fine. :) Jess x

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