BFFs: IS SHE THE ONE?
You’ve been pretty tight for a while now and feel like you’re on bestie level, but does she feel the same? Here, we help you spot the difference between a pal and a BFFL.
on paper, good friends and best friends share a lot of the same traits like relying on each other to double tap your Insta pics, helping each other find the perf foundation to match your skintone, providing moral support when your fave series is axed and so on. But, according to Kim Smith, a teenage expert and founder of Standing Strong (girlsstandingstrong.com), a wellness club for girls, a BFF-worthy friendship requires a certain special, unique bond.
“Friends are people we enjoy hanging out with but they might not know everything about us, or they might not be the people we turn to when we’re in need of help,” says Kim. “Best friends have a deeper level of closeness. They are someone you can trust and feel you can share almost anything with.”
‘So like, what are we?’
OK, it’s not going to go down like that, but the best way to figure out if your mate is your best friend is by doing what friends do best: talking it out!
The bestie conversation is one of the most important ones you’ll ever have with your friend. Sure, it can be a nerveracking process, but DW, we’ve got some epic advice to help you keep the awks to a minimum.
“Sometimes you have to put yourself out there for great things to happen. Be brave and tell them how you feel,” Kim insists. “If you’re too shy then tell them straight up. You could say something like: ‘I feel like we’re becoming besties.’ This way you aren’t putting yourself out there completely. Wait and see what they say back. If they feel the same way, you’ll be calling each other bestie by the end of the day!”
And if they’re not quite on the same level as you, then that’s OK! This means that she’s just a great friend of yours
(which is still amazing!) and your true
BFF could be right around the corner.
What if you don’t have a bestie?
If you’ve gotten this far into the story and are thinking, ‘Hey, I actually don’t have a bestie, does that make me weird?’ then the answer is absolutely not!
“It’s normal to change friendships, have friendship breakups and makeups, have lots of friends, have no friends, have just friends and have best friends,” Kim explains.
So if you don’t have a bestie just yet, this doesn’t mean that you’ll never have one. It just means that person hasn’t entered your life yet.
Having lots of friends but no best friend means you have the freedom to move around your friendship groups and not be attached to one person. Enjoy this time and make the most of it. Before you know it you’ll be paired with someone who thinks you’re the best thing since strawberry flavoured Oreos.
“Although it can sometimes feel lonely not having a best friend, it’s a good time to put some love and time into yourself,” Kim says. “The most important friendship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.”