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I’m 16 years old, my sis­ter is 12 and my brother’s 10. My mum still treats me like a kid and I don’t think it’s fair be­cause I’m so much older, but I’m not al­lowed to do all the things my friends are al­lowed to. All my friends are plan­ning on go­ing to a mu­sic fes­ti­val and I re­ally want to go. How can I make my mum see I’m old enough?

Kim says:

It can be tough when you’re the el­dest. Your par­ents may still see you in the same way they see your younger sib­lings and may not re­alise you’re more ma­ture. So, here’s the best way to han­dle this. Start small and start talk­ing. Start with lit­tle re­quests – ask­ing if you can stay out a bit later, or go some­where new on your own. When you find some­thing they say yes to, do it right, fol­low their rules and prove you are re­li­able. When you get home, share your ex­pe­ri­ence. The more you com­mu­ni­cate with your par­ents, the more they will see your ma­tu­rity. This builds their trust and faith in you. The worst thing you can do is ask a big re­quest that’s way too scary for your par­ents. Start­ing small will help them get used to you do­ing new things. Also remember, fight­ing with them won’t help. Show them you’re not a kid any more. If they are stuck on say­ing ‘no’, make a smaller re­quest. It’s about ne­go­ti­at­ing!

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