GF ad­vice

Girlfriend - - GF ADVICE -

Not feel­ing it

My boyfriend and I have started hav­ing sex. He is re­ally en­joy­ing it, and I pre­tend to, but I’m not. We’re us­ing con­doms, but it kind of hurts and rubs a lot when he thrusts, and each time I’ve been sore af­ter (we've done it three times). What should I do? I’m wor­ried it's not nor­mal to feel this way.

Will it al­ways hurt like this?


I’m re­ally pleased you are us­ing pro­tec­tion, and you'll be pleased to know that what you de­scribe is most likely not ab­nor­mal, and fix­able! This sounds like a case of too much fric­tion, and it’s not go­ing to get bet­ter by pre­tend­ing to en­joy sex. Sex­ual arousal usu­ally trig­gers pro­duc­tion of nat­u­ral lu­bri­ca­tion fluid but, when you start to an­tic­i­pate sex is go­ing to hurt, that re­sponse can be closed down. First thing is to talk about it with your boyfriend (bet­ter still – show him this page!). Re­as­sure him it’s not his fault, but it would help to take it gently for a bit and use pre-lubed con­doms, or buy some wa­ter-based lube until you find it more com­fort­able and na­ture kicks in. Be care­ful to only buy lube that is com­pat­i­ble with con­doms be­cause some may cause break­ages – and you don’t want that! If the pain doesn’t set­tle, you might be al­ler­gic to la­tex, so try us­ing polyurethane con­doms. If it’s still not right, chat with your doc­tor.

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