Not feeling it
My boyfriend and I have started having sex. He is really enjoying it, and I pretend to, but I’m not. We’re using condoms, but it kind of hurts and rubs a lot when he thrusts, and each time I’ve been sore after (we've done it three times). What should I do? I’m worried it's not normal to feel this way.
Will it always hurt like this?
I’m really pleased you are using protection, and you'll be pleased to know that what you describe is most likely not abnormal, and fixable! This sounds like a case of too much friction, and it’s not going to get better by pretending to enjoy sex. Sexual arousal usually triggers production of natural lubrication fluid but, when you start to anticipate sex is going to hurt, that response can be closed down. First thing is to talk about it with your boyfriend (better still – show him this page!). Reassure him it’s not his fault, but it would help to take it gently for a bit and use pre-lubed condoms, or buy some water-based lube until you find it more comfortable and nature kicks in. Be careful to only buy lube that is compatible with condoms because some may cause breakages – and you don’t want that! If the pain doesn’t settle, you might be allergic to latex, so try using polyurethane condoms. If it’s still not right, chat with your doctor.