YOU should GO AND love YOURSELF
Selena Gomez swears by it, Demi Lovato says it turned her life around and Willow Smith claims it’s her daily mantra. So if self-love is the secret to happiness, how do you find it?
demi Lovato’s YouTube doco Simply Complicated had us simply hooked four minutes in. Moving through a series of photos from life as a childhood star to the pop princess we know and love today, she powerfully discusses the lessons she’s learnt over the last decade: “The key to being happy is to tell your truth, and be OK without all the answers.”
What Demi is talking about is self-love, and she isn’t alone. It’s the buzzword of the moment in celeb-land, with all our faves like Tay, Sel and Ari all recently sharing how self-love helped them find confidence, happiness and ultimately, their true self.
BUT, what exactly is it? Simply, true self-love is an unconditional feeling of love, appreciation and acceptance for yourself… not just when you’re vibing your A+ hair or your fire outfit. When a pimple takes over your face or your hair isn’t whipping up in a high pony like Bella Hadid’s latest Insta, self-love means still loving the real you beneath all that stuff.
Self-love is a feeling that is learnt and needs plenty of practice. It doesn’t just happen overnight! So, we put together a plan to get you feeling the love for YOU.
You’re not an M&M
Mmm, M&M’s. The universally loved candy that literally everyone loves. But guess what? You’re not going to make everyone happy like a handful of M&M’s, and that’s because they’re all the same… and filled with chocolate.
You’re an individual with your own uniqueness and that should be celebrated. Not everyone loves peanut butter M&M’s… but plenty of people do. The first step in your self-love plan is to make peace with the fact that some people may not dig you.
There’s probably a bunch of people at school that you don’t like as much as others, and that’s totally fine. But it goes both ways. You should focus on being your true self and surrounding yourself with people who love you for you. The end result? A super positive squad.
Take some time to find you
Selena Gomez is a true believer that the key to selfconfidence is finding your individual voice, because to love yourself, you have to know who you are. The best way to tackle this is to take some time and list what makes you who you are. Yes, it sounds corny, but it actually 100 per cent works.
Ask questions like, what do I stand for? What makes me happy? What makes me blah? What type of person do I want to be? What do I like about myself? And the best part is you can keep adding to your THIS IS ME list when you discover something new about yourself.
Give yourself a shoutout
Ever find yourself focusing on what you can’t do? Or maybe comparing yourself to others? It’s time to quit the comparing and focus on you. Every day, give yourself a shoutout. Just take some time each morning, maybe in the bathroom, and pick something that you like about yourself. It can be anything. It could be that you like the colour you painted your nails or that you have a nice smile.
And yes, it’ll seem a bit weird the first few times, but before you know it, you’ll be thinking less about what you’re lacking and more about why you’re cute. Self-love = you got the glow.
Your inner voice can pipe down
Sometimes your inner voice is your BFF, giving you that jolt of confidence just when you need it.
Other times, when the sitch is a little tricky, it feeds into your confidence wobble by throwing out a few questions like: “Do my friends even like me?” or “Why did I wear this outfit?”
Sound familiar? Well, that little voice can feed selfdoubt, and self-doubt is the stealer of self-love, stopping you from living your best life. It’s hard to completely kill off that little voice, but you can shush it out in moments of self-doubt by focusing on your daily self-love affirmations from above.
Falling apart happens
So, the little voice has won this time and you’re ugly crying (shoulder heaves and all) in the toilets. That’s actually OK. You’re not a robot. Falling apart sometimes is just human. We all do it! Self-love is allowing yourself to fall apart, but then pulling yourself back together again. Make like Tay and shake it off, then get out your list of who you are and remind yourself why you’re awesome.