YOU should GO AND love YOUR­SELF

Se­lena Gomez swears by it, Demi Lo­vato says it turned her life around and Wil­low Smith claims it’s her daily mantra. So if self-love is the se­cret to hap­pi­ness, how do you find it?

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demi Lo­vato’s YouTube doco Sim­ply Com­pli­cated had us sim­ply hooked four min­utes in. Mov­ing through a se­ries of pho­tos from life as a child­hood star to the pop princess we know and love to­day, she pow­er­fully dis­cusses the lessons she’s learnt over the last decade: “The key to be­ing happy is to tell your truth, and be OK with­out all the an­swers.”

What Demi is talk­ing about is self-love, and she isn’t alone. It’s the buzz­word of the mo­ment in celeb-land, with all our faves like Tay, Sel and Ari all re­cently shar­ing how self-love helped them find con­fi­dence, hap­pi­ness and ul­ti­mately, their true self.

BUT, what ex­actly is it? Sim­ply, true self-love is an un­con­di­tional feel­ing of love, ap­pre­ci­a­tion and ac­cep­tance for your­self… not just when you’re vibing your A+ hair or your fire out­fit. When a pim­ple takes over your face or your hair isn’t whip­ping up in a high pony like Bella Ha­did’s lat­est In­sta, self-love means still lov­ing the real you be­neath all that stuff.

Self-love is a feel­ing that is learnt and needs plenty of prac­tice. It doesn’t just hap­pen overnight! So, we put to­gether a plan to get you feel­ing the love for YOU.

You’re not an M&M

Mmm, M&M’s. The uni­ver­sally loved candy that lit­er­ally every­one loves. But guess what? You’re not go­ing to make every­one happy like a hand­ful of M&M’s, and that’s be­cause they’re all the same… and filled with choco­late.

You’re an in­di­vid­ual with your own unique­ness and that should be cel­e­brated. Not every­one loves peanut but­ter M&M’s… but plenty of peo­ple do. The first step in your self-love plan is to make peace with the fact that some peo­ple may not dig you.

There’s prob­a­bly a bunch of peo­ple at school that you don’t like as much as oth­ers, and that’s to­tally fine. But it goes both ways. You should fo­cus on be­ing your true self and sur­round­ing your­self with peo­ple who love you for you. The end re­sult? A su­per pos­i­tive squad.

Take some time to find you

Se­lena Gomez is a true be­liever that the key to self­con­fi­dence is find­ing your in­di­vid­ual voice, be­cause to love your­self, you have to know who you are. The best way to tackle this is to take some time and list what makes you who you are. Yes, it sounds corny, but it ac­tu­ally 100 per cent works.

Ask ques­tions like, what do I stand for? What makes me happy? What makes me blah? What type of per­son do I want to be? What do I like about my­self? And the best part is you can keep adding to your THIS IS ME list when you dis­cover some­thing new about your­self.

Give your­self a shoutout

Ever find your­self fo­cus­ing on what you can’t do? Or maybe com­par­ing your­self to oth­ers? It’s time to quit the com­par­ing and fo­cus on you. Ev­ery day, give your­self a shoutout. Just take some time each morn­ing, maybe in the bath­room, and pick some­thing that you like about your­self. It can be any­thing. It could be that you like the colour you painted your nails or that you have a nice smile.

And yes, it’ll seem a bit weird the first few times, but be­fore you know it, you’ll be think­ing less about what you’re lack­ing and more about why you’re cute. Self-love = you got the glow.

Your in­ner voice can pipe down

Some­times your in­ner voice is your BFF, giv­ing you that jolt of con­fi­dence just when you need it.

Other times, when the sitch is a lit­tle tricky, it feeds into your con­fi­dence wob­ble by throw­ing out a few ques­tions like: “Do my friends even like me?” or “Why did I wear this out­fit?”

Sound fa­mil­iar? Well, that lit­tle voice can feed self­doubt, and self-doubt is the stealer of self-love, stop­ping you from liv­ing your best life. It’s hard to com­pletely kill off that lit­tle voice, but you can shush it out in mo­ments of self-doubt by fo­cus­ing on your daily self-love af­fir­ma­tions from above.

Fall­ing apart hap­pens

So, the lit­tle voice has won this time and you’re ugly cry­ing (shoul­der heaves and all) in the toi­lets. That’s ac­tu­ally OK. You’re not a ro­bot. Fall­ing apart some­times is just hu­man. We all do it! Self-love is al­low­ing your­self to fall apart, but then pulling your­self back to­gether again. Make like Tay and shake it off, then get out your list of who you are and re­mind your­self why you’re awe­some.

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