MIND OVER MANHOOD
Performance anxiety is similar to having a Pitbull song stuck in your head – the less you try to think about it, the greater the possibility of slipping into a hopeless spiral. But hope is at hand. “Use your senses – sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell – to focus on being in the moment,” says Dr Christopher Fox, chair for the Society of Australian Sexologists. “It reduces the chance of being distracted by any demons.” Concentrate only on the taste of their lips and skin; enjoy the way their hands feel on your body; breathe more slowly, and deeper, to relax. See? It’s not that, ahem, hard. Then again, what goes up must come down. The refractory period – the time from one orgasm to another – differs from man to man, and even if your partner’s keen to go again, sometimes they’ll just have to wait. “Some can get an erection 15-20 minutes post-orgasm,” says Dr Fox, “it’s so variable – a mixture of hormones released during and after ejaculation, tiredness and muscle fatigue.” So if you’re not gifted with a superhuman recharge rate, take comfort in the fact it’s really not your fault.
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