Dear prospective retirees,
We know what you’re thinking. The dollar’s down the toilet, your super’s not much better, and those Volkswagen shares haven’t panned out the way you’d hoped. Indeed, recent fgures show barely half of Aussie couples will have suffcient savings to see them through retirement. Things aren’t looking good. But who needs to call it a day, anyway? Next month, we’ll all be lining up for the latest instalment of weary Hollywood franchise Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, where director JJ Abrams has also managed to awaken 73-year-old Harrison Ford, returning as Han Solo to shake his cane at the dark side for another year. Here’s hoping the latest Millennium Falcon’s includes handrails in the bathrooms and stairlifts. It’s not the last we’ll see of Mr Ford, either – he’s signed on for additional Indiana Jones and Blade Runner movies, because nothing eases the aches and pains of old age quite like sleeping on a bed of money. Plus, fellow retirementshy action men Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone and Bruce Willis all have plenty in the pipeline. They’re hardly alone in snubbing retirement age, so what’s your excuse? Maybe it’s the cheaper bus fares, but veteran musical acts are also enjoying a major touring resurgence – in November alone, Fleetwood Mac, Neil Diamond and AC/DC are all performing here. Septuagenarian Keith Richards has again cheated death to release a new solo album, as has Rod Stewart and Kenny Rogers – combined age of the trio a spritely 218, and counting. But for the fnal word on retiring, look no further than Aussie icon John Farnham. Earlier this year he hit the stage with Olivia Newton-john for a series of concerts called Two Strong Hearts (a brave title at their age) with another tour on the go. Truth is, no one’s as good at retiring as Farnsy – at 66, he’s done it about fve times. In his perennial hit song ‘You’re The Voice’, the great man sang, ‘We gotta make ends meet; Before we get much older.’ He makes a fair point, and it sounds as good now as when he performed it on his frst farewell tour. In 2002.
Now, get back to work,