TAKING A TROPHY WIFE
Finding yourself unexpectedly single at 45 can rob a man of all good sense. Updated Facebook relationship status: ‘Will marry anything with a pulse/fake boobies even if she’s definitely only in it for my money.’ Don’t be that guy. Ride out the panic. Because a relationship formed on the wrong side of 40 can turn out to be the best of your life, provided you stay cool. You’re a catch now, after all. You know your way around a wine list, can smooth talk the stoniest face on the Qantas Club reception with a hairline that remains quite strong, and, thanks to various test relationships, you’ve learnt how not to be a prick. As tempted as your ego may be to lock down the first hot blonde who swipes right, take stock of the cons. The fact she only knows the Kygo remix of ‘Sexual Healing’, that you’ll be routinely mistaken for her dad, and made to visit underground bars only open from midnight, is a high price to pay for pillowtalk. We’re not saying don’t. Men with young wives live longer, according to legitimate Googlable science, but a messy divorce three years in surely has the opposite effect. Ask Paul Mccartney.