BUYING A BOAT
… or motorcycle, or Maserati Grancabrio. Wait, let’s think. While it’s defnitely time to start enjoying the fruits of your labour, nothing says ‘I AM FREAKING OUT REAL HARD’ like a man in a restrictive leather jacket trying to touch-park $200K of Italian steel out front of hot yoga. And, as any amateur sailor knows only too well, the two best days with a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it. So, no sudden moves chaps. The key with a big trophy buy is sense ruling over impulse. And unless a hundred Gs is pin money, do plenty of research. Take your time. Work out who you really are, what leisure time means, and pick a prize refective of such. Also, authenticity will always be the best inoculation against wankerdom. (And if you still need to lease it, reschedule the MLC to when money isn’t a factor – because a Vespa paid for in cash still beats a Lotus on lay-by every time.) For our money, you want a Land Rover Defender – the second-car of choice for such later-life icons as Sean Connery, Bill Murray and, er, Fidel Castro. That these military style 4x4s are no longer in production makes them a serious status vehicle (in Europe, organised crime does a sideline in Defender parts) and even if you only take it out to pick up the papers, women will still assume you’re Special Forces. Strap the surfboard on, ford a few streams, or spend the weekend in town crunching Ford Fiestas under your tyres without noticing. If, meanwhile, you’ve been waiting all this time for a proper, Bond-grade sports car and nothing shall dissuade, a Jaguar V8 F-type R ought tick that box.