IN THE GAME
ANGRY BIRDS IS COMING TO THE BIG SCREEN. THAT’S RIGHT, THE BLOWOUT FINNISH VIDEOGAME FRANCHISE IS THE LATEST ATTEMPT FOR GAMING TO MAKE ITS CELLULOID MARK. HERE, A LOOK BACK AT WHAT’S GONE BEFORE YOU REALISE THEY’VE ALL BEEN A BIT RUBBISH.
The Angry Birds Movie is in cinemas May 12
SUPER MARIO BROS (1993) Dennis Hopper as a spikey-haired, turtle-monster-villain thing, aka King Koopa. Oh dear. LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER (2001) Angelina Jolie grabbed a padded bra to play the titular character. Men wept, and then went back to their joysticks. STREET FIGHTER (1994) ‘Our’ Kylie gets her time to shine – opposite the bulky Belgian and one-time thing, Jean-claude Van Damme. Still, it was better than Mario and his mate. NEED FOR SPEED (2014) Aaron Paul undoes the brilliance of Breaking Bad in 130 odd minutes. DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006) One of the most critically-received video game films of all time – Rotten Tomatoes giving it a score of 35 per cent. PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME (2010) A wild success. (Translation: maybe-kinda-sorta as much fun as one of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels.) MAX PAYNE (2008) Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis in a neonoir detective film forever destined for the bargain bin. RESIDENT EVIL (2002) “My favourite guilty pleasure,” uttered director James Cameron. Viewers disagreed. GQ.COM.AU 43