The New Rules Of Porn

GQ (Australia) - - CHAMPION -

Paul New­man once said, “I have steak at home, so why should I go out for a ham­burger?” Well, Paul, those sim­ple burg­ers of the ’60s were a lit­tle bland, and in­ter­net pornog­ra­phy – hell, VR porn – was some­thing be­yond the imag­i­na­tion of even the best sci-fi writ­ers of the time. Why does this mat­ter? Be­cause for most, porn re­mains the other woman/man in a re­la­tion­ship, that bit on the side whose name most dare not speak, that se­cret sex­ual part­ner who brings the kink. The ham­burger New­man spoke of. The pres­ence of porn and its in­creas­ing dig­i­tal pen­e­tra­tion con­tin­ues to drive hard de­bate – its ubiq­uity fram­ing dis­cus­sion about its psy­cho­log­i­cal ad­dic­tive­ness and sup­posed wider ef­fects as they re­late to re­la­tion­ships gen­er­ally and sex specif­i­cally. Even though such scru­tiny is war­ranted, and ex­plo­ration of this in­dus­try is nec­es­sary (es­pe­cially in re­gard to is­sues of degra­da­tion, mis­treat­ment, and il­le­gal­ity), it comes with­out con­clu­sive proof. On the flip side, porn’s not go­ing any­where – its swing into VR head­sets and new tech­nolo­gies is as much about ap­peas­ing grow­ing au­di­ence ap­petites (tube site Porn­hub last year claimed that 24 per cent of its daily global au­di­ence is fe­male) as re­flect­ing its un­abated march to­wards main­stream ac­cep­tance. There’s also a vo­cal counter ar­gu­ment that says that porn can, in fact, have a pos­i­tive sex­ual ef­fect when man­aged ap­pro­pri­ately and openly. Here at GQ, we feel it’s about be­ing re­al­is­tic and ed­u­cat­ing on the mer­its and mis­giv­ings of pornog­ra­phy, as well as des­tig­ma­tis­ing what can be a plea­sur­able hobby. Here’s how.

1. Re­search sites and book­mark what you like ahead of some solo time. Search­ing for porn when horny is like hit­ting up the su­per­mar­ket stoned – you make limp choices and pur­chases that de­liver false sat­is­fac­tion. 2. Be hon­est about your view­ing habits. This means be­ing open to your part­ner that, yes, you ‘some­times’ check out a slice of Red­tube. How­ever, if you find your­self glued to a smart­phone, daily, from the third stall in the work bath­room come 9:03am – have a chat to the doc­tor. 3. Avoid pi­rated/tor­rented con­tent for the sake of your com­puter and those per­form­ing. Seek out the grow­ing num­ber of eth­i­cal and le­git­i­mate sites –com­par­a­tively con­scionable op­er­a­tors with ver­i­fied (age, con­sent) con­tent. If un­sure, head to Real Porn Wik­ileaks where ex­ploita­tive sites are named and shamed. 4. Keen to watch with a part­ner? Talk about your pref­er­ences be­fore­hand to find some com­mon ground. And start slowly. Sites such as joy­bear.com fea­ture lov­ing cou­ples, then there’s the beau­ti­fully shot art-house porn of x-art.com. Or, start out retro (and soft) by (re)view­ing some of film­maker Russ Meyer’s kitschy ’60s oeu­vre. 5. If watch­ing with a part­ner, avoid par­tic­u­lar lines of ques­tion­ing. No one wins from ask­ing, ‘Have you ever been with some­one that big?’ 6. Avoid cer­tain cat­e­gories. Se­ri­ously, ‘teen’, ‘MILF’, ‘step mum/dad’, ‘scat’ – get your hand off it. 7. Re­peat af­ter us – ‘I am not a de­viant’.

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