Cheers 2016, you’ve been great.

GQ (Australia) - - INSIDE GQ -

Re­mem­ber how everyone was wor­ried the world was go­ing to end in 2012? Well even if the Mayans were right and it had all been cur­tains for planet Earth, rest as­sured it would have only been the sec­ond-worst year on record. 2016, you re­ally have been aw­ful. We usu­ally be­gin a New Year think­ing it’s our chance for a fresh start. Per­haps time to re­new the gym mem­ber­ship we never used, and stop eat­ing all the pizza. Af­ter all, the UN de­clared 2016 the In­ter­na­tional Year of Pulses. Se­ri­ously. But just as we were look­ing for­ward to 12 months of cel­e­brat­ing lentils, you ruined the party. First, you took David Bowie. Then Alan Rickman. And be­fore Jan­uary was even fin­ished, you handed us a full-blown Zika virus out­break. Next came earth­quakes, floods, and end­less TV spe­cials about Jon­benét Ram­sey. We had Brexit, the bland­est Aus­tralian elec­tion on record and then the fuck­ing cen­sus. There were bomb­ings in Brus­sels, killings in Nice, and ev­ery­thing else in Syria. Police shoot­ings, Or­lando shoot­ings, go­rilla shoot­ings. We lost Muham­mad Ali and Harper Lee and Prince and Gene Wilder. Not even Willy Wonka was safe from the car­nage. You com­plete bas­tard. But like being stuck on a train with a rav­ing drunk, there was nowhere to hide, as we wit­nessed one sad in­dig­nity af­ter an­other. Which brings us to Don­ald Trump. With his silly lit­tle hands, straw hair and face tan­dooried to a weird shade of or­ange, he set out to prove he was the per­son­i­fi­ca­tion of 2016, by being eas­ily the worst per­son on the planet. Still, nice try, Pauline Han­son. Any­way, now it’s time to look on the bright side. The count­down is on to when we’ll be crack­ing open the champers and light­ing the sparklers to ring in a brand new year. Who’s to say what lies ahead – but at least we’ll sleep easy on De­cem­ber 31, know­ing it can’t get any worse than this. Thanks for noth­ing.

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