TRAPPED by FEAR

Great Health Guide - - FRONT PAGE - Words Char­maine Roth De­sign Olek­san­dra Zuieva

How many times have we been asked to do some­thing, or even con­tem­plated do­ing some­thing, yet have re­sisted. We think of ev­ery ex­cuse to keep our­selves in our com­fort zone - and we miss op­por­tu­nity af­ter op­por­tu­nity for en­gag­ing in ac­tiv­i­ties which will re­ward us in some way and the re­sult is that we feel trapped and bored.

Fear is an emo­tion that is felt by all. It alerts us to dan­ger. Re­search has shown that fear is di­vided into two re­sponses:

• the bio­chem­i­cal re­sponse which is univer­sal

• the emo­tional re­sponse which is a per­sonal re­sponse that can keep us im­mobolised.

HERE’S HOW FEAR CAN PRE­VENT YOU FROM TAK­ING AC­TION: 1. in­se­cu­rity.

Dur­ing our child­hood, we re­ceive mes­sages from our pri­mary care­givers. Those mes­sages are car­ried with us un­con­sciously. If we re­ceive the mes­sage that we are in­ad­e­quate in some re­spect, we will be filled with self-doubt, we will be lack­ing in con­fi­dence and we won’t at­tempt new things. We look at oth­ers with envy, be­liev­ing that we can’t achieve the same. The an­ti­dote is to take small steps and find a men­tor who can be trusted to guide you and chal­lenge your deeply held view of your­self.

2. Blam­ing and com­plain­ing.

Con­stant blam­ing and com­plain­ing is a per­fect way to stay trapped. Com­plain­ing and crit­i­cis­ing oth­ers for the sit­u­a­tion you have found your­self in, keeps you from tak­ing ac­tion to­wards change. Yes, there are things that can’t be con­trolled, but what you can con­trol is your re­sponse. The ‘com­plainer’ stays in a pat­tern of in­ac­tion and places re­spon­si­bil­ity for their well­be­ing onto oth­ers.

'IN­AC­TION BREEDS DOUBT & FEAR. AC­TION BREEDS CON­FI­DENCE AND COURAGE IF YOU WANT TO CON­QUER FEAR, DO NOT SIT HOME & THINK ABOUT IT GO OUT AND GET BUSY …. DALE CARNEGIE

3. per­fec­tion.

If I can’t do it per­fectly, I’m not even go­ing to try. Per­fec­tion­ists stay trapped be­cause they can never reach the high bar they set for them­selves. Many fear fail­ure as it re­in­forces the neg­a­tive view they hold of them­selves - af­ter all if one is suc­cess­ful, it is eas­ier to fail. Per­fec­tion­ism is an il­lu­sion - what is achieved is enough!

4. ‘what if…’

The ‘what if’ mantra is a prime ex­am­ple of in­ac­tion. Ru­mi­nat­ing on thoughts such as ‘what if I work and the kids get sick’, ‘what if I present my­self for a med­i­cal test and the re­sult is pos­i­tive’, can stop achieve­ment. In­stead of adopt­ing a wait and see ap­proach, the ru­mi­na­tor avoids ac­tion be­cause the an­swer will al­ways be neg­a­tive and seem­ingly un­solv­able.

Don’t stay trapped - try some­thing new, even if you re­ally are un­sure of what you want to do. Seek help to shift think­ing pat­terns that no longer work for you. Find a men­tor who you can use as a sound­ing board and who will en­cour­age you to try some­thing new - af­ter all, if you keep do­ing the same, you will keep get­ting the same re­sults.

char­maine roth is an ex­pe­ri­enced Psy­chother­a­pist prac­tic­ing in Syd­ney, Aus­tralia. Through safe, skilled con­ver­sa­tion Char­maine works with in­di­vid­u­als, cou­ples and fam­i­lies. She as­sists her clients to be­come more aware of proac­tive be­hav­iours and ex­plore new choices that will im­prove re­la­tion­ships. For more in­for­ma­tion re­fer to Char­maine’s web­site.

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