CREATING A DIVORCE-PROOF MARRIAGE
How to create a marriage that is loving, solid & healthy despite the seasons of life
The vast majority (over 80%) of Australians, Americans and most other nationalities, get married at least once in their lives. We seem to be in love with marriage. Correction: We seem to love getting married but half of us also get divorced, although no one gets married with a plan to divorce. We find a partner, stand in front of a clergy person or a judge with family and friends and swear to remain together until ‘death do us part’. Then stuff happens and half of us lose that special connection. Then we find a lawyer and divorce becomes a sad end to a promising beginning.
Is there a way to beat the odds? Is it possible to almost guarantee a marriage that is divorce-proof? I have over 45 years of professional experience working with couples and I can answer that question with an enthusiastic, YES! YES, it is possible to create a marriage that is solid, loving, healthy and never ends in divorce. OK, 99% divorce proof. No plan is perfect.
HERE IS HOW TO CREATE A DIVORCE PROOF MARRIAGE: 1. Create a Plan to Stay Married.
It is important for you and your partner to have a serious talk about how important marriage is to both of you. Actually, answer the question: What is our plan to avoid divorce and stay happily married? If you do not have a clear and meaningful plan, then your chances of divorce are significant. Make a plan. I have listed suggestions below.
2. Assess the Cost of the Marriage Ceremony.
Most couples spend quite a lot of money on getting married. Just the engagement ring (yes, it is included in the cost!) is expensive. The average American invests about $6000.00 on a ring. Add in the full cost of the ceremony, including the dress, food, flowers, etc. and take a hard look at the real expense. In the USA the average cost is almost $27,000.00, plus the ring! That adds up to $33,000.00. What is the real cost of your ceremony?
3. Make a Real Investment in your Future Together.
Think about this. You are going to spend all this money, just to get started. If you
It is possible to create a marriage that is loving, solid, healthy & does not end in divorce.
invested this much in starting a business would you have a business plan? Would you expect to get some education on how to make this business successful? Yes, you would, unless you were willing to quickly lose your investment. So, what is your happy marriage worth? I suggest you add up your marriage costs (see above) and then take just 10% of that and invest in a successful marriage education. That amount would be about $3000 for the average couple. It will be the best insurance policy you and your partner ever made.
Caution: Do not assume that love is enough to make a marriage work. It is a great start, but you also need to know what makes a relationship survive and
thrive. Most couples, at least 50%, have no idea and they end up in court. What should you include in your ‘Plan to Stay Happily Married’? I have listed the basics below. Everything on this list will help. Remember, it is a lot easier to learn the right skills in the beginning of your marriage than to wait until the pain gets intense.