you Do the maths

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How many gui­tars does one player need? It’s the eter­nal ques­tion. My brother, who is a maths teacher, says that the an­swer can be ex­pressed by the for­mula n+1, where n is the num­ber of gui­tars you have at present. His wife, also a maths teacher, of­fers the al­ter­na­tive for­mula d-1, where d is di­vorce. Ouch. But ap­ply­ing logic to a sub­ject usu­ally noted for its ab­sence, this must mean that d-1 = n+1, and it fol­lows that d = n+2. So we won’t ar­rive at d for di­vorce if we buy our gui­tars one at a time! Which is just as well, as I now have my eyes on a lovely Tele­caster Thin­line, to be fol­lowed, per­haps, by some­thing in Fi­esta Red… Michael Bruce, via email Michael, we ap­plaud your schol­ar­ship – we were never that good at maths, so we’ll of­fer an even sim­pler for­mula to avoid an­ger­ing your part­ner with off-piste gui­tar pur­chases: ‘one in one out’. In other words, sell one to get an­other. Keep­ing your gui­tars within a closed eco­nomic loop in which trad­ing in (and hope­fully up) is the means to keep ex­pe­ri­enc­ing new gui­tars does seem to work in prevent­ing the odd do­mes­tic con­tretemps at home. But can you stick to that rule? We’ve strug­gled over the years, we’ll ad­mit. Any­way, we’re send­ing you our Star Let­ter prize of a Korg Pitch­black tuner ab­so­lutely free – so they can’t touch you for it!

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