THE TWEEN YEARS PRO­VIDE MELT­DOWNS FOR MANY AND ANX­I­ETY ALL ROUND - BUT WHY IS THIS SO?

Haven Magazine - - Front Page -

It might be hard to see some­times, but at the core of our tweens is an awe­some, amaz­ing and lov­able be­ing - and not the mon­ster that they of­ten por­tray. So what hap­pens? How do we go from awe­some be­ing to mon­ster be­hav­iour? The sim­ple an­swer is anx­i­ety. Anx­i­ety is the pre­cur­sor to all un­wanted be­hav­iour. Let me ex­plain fur­ther… Ac­cord­ing to Serge Ben­hayon, “Anx­i­ety oc­curs when a per­son does not feel equipped to re­spond to what’s in front of them.” To un­der­stand fur­ther, anx­i­ety is what comes from our tween’s body. It is their words, be­hav­iours, thoughts and feel­ings that are sim­ply com­mu­ni­cat­ing there is some­thing in front of them they do not feel com­pletely equipped to re­spond to. Not feel­ing equipped equals per­ceived lack of skill. What’s in front of you equals life. Thus in sim­plic­ity, when our tween is ex­hibit­ing un­wanted be­hav­iours, we must sim­ply ask, “I won­der what part of life my tween has been pre­sented with that they do not per­ceive they have all the re­quired skills to re­spond to?”. Life starts to change for our tweens. They come into this ‘in-be­tween phase’. They are no longer chil­dren, but they are also not yet adults. They are a lit­tle bit in ‘no man’s land’ which is right where ‘tween land’ ex­ists.

LIFE PRESENTS US WITH TH­ESE LESSONS:

Their ex­pec­ta­tions of life, that are ei­ther self­im­posed or im­posed on by others, start to change The world starts to feel dif­fer­ent Dif­fer­ent re­spon­si­bil­i­ties have been of­fered

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