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Haven Magazine - - LIFE -

Moyra Ma­jor

RA­DIO AN­NOUNCER/PUB­LIC SPEAK­ING COACH

www.ma­jor­con­fi­dent.com So I’m hear­ing all these crazy holiday ideas at the mo­ment. Mums tak­ing off and go­ing on hol­i­days with­out their fam­i­lies. Par­ents leav­ing their kids at home and go­ing over­seas with­out their kids. Ac­cord­ing to psy­chol­ogy pro­fes­sor Dr Nava Sil­ton, it’s re­ally im­por­tant for mothers to be re­ju­ve­nated and re­freshed (in­sert eye roll, yawn and loud huff­ing noise). She adds that tak­ing the time out to make sure our own needs are met is ac­tu­ally ben­e­fi­cial for our kids (it sounds like Dr Sil­ton lives in a com­pletely dif­fer­ent world to me, a world where she could prob­a­bly take a pee by her­self with­out a tod­dler try­ing to peek un­der the door). Thanks for your time, Doc - but I choose to dis­agree. I sim­ply couldn’t leave my chil­dren and go on holiday: a) I can’t af­ford a holiday, b) I don’t have any­where to leave them and, c) even if point a and b were sorted, I would sim­ply die from Mummy Guilt and end up cry­ing af­ter two hours and go home. I love what Jen­nifer Garner posted on­line re­cently. She was get­ting ready for the school hol­i­days and took a photo of her­self look­ing pre­pared and pro­fes­sional - hold­ing a piece of pa­per that said ‘Fun Sum­mer Ideas’ - un­der­neath the cap­tion ‘Moms: First day of Sum­mer’. The photo next to it was of her cov­ered in blood on the set of her new­est film, Pep­per­mint, and was cap­tioned #back­toschool #iwillmis­s­them­but... and #god­b­lessteach­ers. Good luck these school hol­i­days - I wish you the best as you start off fresh with great out­door ideas, lists of things to do, fresh play-doh and tex­tas. I’ll see you on the other side, as we slowly let screen time stretch out a bit more each day, reach for the wine a lit­tle ear­lier and start the men­tal count­down to Oc­to­ber 8.

Kelly Burstow

BE A FUN MUM BLOG­GER

www.bea­fun­mum.com I am sit­ting at the din­ing room ta­ble as I type this. The younger chil­dren are watch­ing Bondi Vet while my hus­band and our el­dest are hud­dled over a com­puter on the lounge­room floor, dis­cussing her bi­ol­ogy as­sign­ment. Our el­dest re­cently cel­e­brated her 17th birth­day and that means my hus­band has been a fa­ther for the same time. With Fa­ther’s Day re­cently done and dusted for an­other year, I was cu­ri­ous to ask him what the day meant to him and what he ap­pre­ci­ates most about be­ing a fa­ther. He ex­plained that be­ing a fa­ther to him means the priv­i­lege of lov­ing and tak­ing care of his fam­ily. This brings him a lot of sat­is­fac­tion, he said. The day it­self isn’t very im­por­tant. Sure, he en­joys break­fast in bed and re­ceiv­ing a new set of hand­made cards to pin up in his of­fice. How­ever, at the heart of it, father­hood is about ser­vice and love to his fam­ily, not his fam­ily giv­ing him stuff. I was rather hum­bled at his re­sponse. It re­in­forced how beau­ti­ful a part­ner­ship can be, when two peo­ple com­mit to each other, make it work and cre­ate a life to­gether. Our chil­dren are part of that. It’s the day-to-day mo­ments of our life that mean so much. It’s when I in­ten­tion­ally in­clude my hus­band in fam­ily life, even when he’s not around. It’s when my hus­band sends a spe­cial mes­sage for the kids if he can’t make it to an event. It’s ex­press­ing how much I ap­pre­ci­ate him. It’s when he throws him­self into home­work with the chil­dren af­ter a long day at work. These cur­rents – from me, from him, from our chil­dren – make fam­ily life mean­ing­ful and beau­ti­ful. You have to hang on to these things some­times when times are rough! Af­ter 17 years of par­ent­ing, I re­alise they mat­ter so much.

haven’s colum­nists share their in­sights on all things life and the world around us. The Hub is where you’ll find snip­pets of ran­dom thoughts and in­spi­ra­tion, so pull up a chair, your fave bev­er­age and get read­ing!

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