A very fluid sit­u­a­tion

Petrol ex­pen­sive? Here’s a list to put it in per­spec­tive, writes Neil Dowl­ing

Herald Sun - Motoring - - Top Ten -

1. Wa­ter 0.1c a litre It comes in only one colour, is gen­er­ally just a tap away and is so plen­ti­ful peo­ple even swim in it. But it won’t run your car. No op­tion: the orig­i­nal drink and the best. 2. LPG 50c a litre Comes from the gassy part of oil pro­duc­tion and Aus­tralia’s north-west is full of it. We can run the nation’s light­bulbs on the stuff but brown coal is still cheaper to burn. Doesn’t stop you putting it in your car. Ford and Holden this year make top-shelf LPG mod­els. Op­tions: petrol or brown coal. 3. E85 $1.10 a litre Bright yel­low fields of canola and hay­bales of waste sugar cane gave up their lives for your mar­garine and now they’re do­ing the same for your fuel tank. Not the most com­mon of fu­els in Aus­tralia but un­doubt­edly clean. Op­tions: petrol or but­ter. 4. Petrol $1.35 a litre Euro­peans pay $2-plus for their petrol (less for diesel) so they drive small cars. Given the enor­mous task of turn­ing sub-sea oily sludge into 95 RON petrol, it’s cheap at (al­most) any price. No op­tion. 5. Milk $1.80 a litre Su­per­mar­kets are dis­count­ing this stuff in the same way they of­fer coupons for cheap petrol. Milk comes from cows— for­get what the la­bel says— that chew on grass. Where’s the dif­fi­culty there? Best op­tion: tap wa­ter. 6. Coke $1.95 a litre It con­tains a sugar-drenched con­cen­trate mixed with wa­ter and is the most prof­itable item sold by a ser­vice sta­tion. May be fat­ten­ing but only if when you drink lots of it. Best op­tion: tap wa­ter again. 7. Cof­fee $16 a litre Based on my cof­fee shop, which charges $4 for 250ml. It’s an ex­pe­ri­ence that chal­lenges taste buds and gives you a wel­come kick. So it’s like petrol, then? No op­tion. 8. Nail pol­ish $1278 a litre Weeny bot­tles and pretty colours send girls ga-ga. Ad­mit­tedly, the end re­sult looks good but the cost— fi­nan­cially and its ef­fect on over­pow­er­ing a room — is huge. Op­tion: Texta. 9. Chanel No.5 $1860 a litre Pos­si­bly the world’s most fa­mous and best per­fume but is ex­pen­sive and rarely used for bathing. Apart from Cas­trol R smoul­der­ing from the ex­haust of a big-bore two-stroke race bike, it is the most se­duc­tive fra­grance in the world. No op­tion. 10. Printer ink $6250 a litre You think nail pol­ish comes in tiny doses? There’s about 13mL in a home printer car­tridge and though most of the cost is in the pack­ag­ing, there’s no doubt that it’s no cheap ex­er­cise. Op­tion: a pen­cil.

Liq­uid gold: Thank­fully, a drop of

printer ink goes a long way

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