A FEW years ago Formula One rule makers briefly considered a gold-silver-bronze medal structure to decide who would be world champion.
The idea was quickly cast aside when F1 authorities realised that a system that rewarded only the top three finishers would alienate struggling mid-field and tailend competitors. No reason to race if you don’t win a prize.
So F1 now awards points right down to 10th place. Still, that’s no reason not to reconsider a medal system. Beyond the top three placings, here’s how it could work: Fourth: Aluminium Fifth: Wood Sixth: Arts degree Seventh: Cold pizza Eighth: Spam email Ninth: Cat Tenth: Solar panel
After 11 rounds of the 2012 world championship, Spain’s Fernando Alonso leads with three golds, two silvers, one bronze, three woods, one cold pizza and a cat. Australia’s Mark Webber is several arts degrees and one or two solar panels behind.
THINK of federal treasurer Wayne Swan and you don’t immediately imagine Hemi V8s, chrome wheels and fuel injection. Yet Swan is apparently a huge Bruce Springsteen fan, particularly of the New Jersey balladeer’s car-celebrating mid-1970s hit Born to Run, which cites all of these major automotive advances.
‘‘ My inspiration has always been music,’’ Swan revealed this week, slightly surprisingly. ‘‘ Bruce Springsteen, The Boss, was and remains my musical hero.’’ Of Born to Run, Swan confesses: ‘‘ The song has never left me. I still crank it up loud on Budget night and after our family dinner parties.’’
I don’t mean to ruin your morning but let’s work through Springsteen’s lyrics and see how they may apply to Swan’s Boss-inspired world:
Baby this town rips the bones from your back. It’s a death trap, it’s a suicide rap. Canberra. Obviously.
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines. Push aside thoughts of eating for 24 hours while you visualise Swan singing those lyrics
Beyond the palace Hemi- powered drones scream down the boulevard. We await Swan’s technical explanation of Chrysler’s hemispherical combustion chambers.
The girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors and the boys try to look so hard. Now he’s describing Question Time.
I’m just a scared and lonely
rider. You and every other Labor MP, Wayne.
This fellow truly brings new relevance to Springsteen’s work. Drive on, treasurer man.
Medal formula: Keep Webber, Alonso and Vettel happy with cats and cold pizza