Prac­ti­cal gifts for driv­ing dads

Herald Sun - Motoring - - News - PAUL POT­TINGER paul.pot­tinger@cars­guide.com.au

FA­THER’S Day— a grim cav­al­cade of com­pul­sory com­mer­cial ob­ser­vance, as fes­tive as an un­der­cooked fried egg, strip of car­bonised ba­con and di­ar­rhetic brown fluid pre­sented in a cof­fee cup.

As eagerly an­tic­i­pated as the tie you’d not be seen dead wear­ing in pub­lic and the book that will re­main un­opened un­til some undis­cern­ing browser at the of­fice $2 char­ity sale flips dis­in­ter­est­edly through it.

(Though for those in­tent on ob­serv­ing the rit­ual we present some ex­cel­lent gift ideas within.) Around my way the cus­tom is dis­cour­aged, be­cause, ev­ery day is fa­ther’s day. (Is that sen­ten­tious enough?)

If only the wretched day were pub­licly ob­served in some mean­ing­ful way.

If only, just for this day, po­lice were al­lowed to pa­trol the roads to en­sure the safe and smooth pas­sage of users rather than snipe at them with radar guns from con­cealed po­si­tions.

If only the state min­is­ters an­nounced that the ob­scene sums ac­crued from road fines would be turned over en­tirely to driver train­ing schemes and road in­fra­struc­ture.

If only the min­is­ters ad­mit­ted that, yes, they kind-of know the whole ‘‘ speed kills’’ thing is an ex­cuse to biff us for be­ing a click over the limit and un­der­took to milk our purses in ways that are less trans­par­ently in­sult­ing and pos­si­bly even ben­e­fi­cial to the community.

If only said sinecure hold­ers steeled them­selves against the loss of ho­tel in­dus­try do­na­tions and im­ple­mented zero blood al­co­hol for all driv­ers at all times, as in coun­tries such as the Czech Repub­lic, which has a speed limit greater than ours but fewer fa­tal­i­ties per cap­itaw.

Know­ing our chil­dren would thus have a greater hope of sur­pass­ing their fa­ther’s age would be a wor­thy gift in­deed.

Happy Fa­ther’s Day from Cars­guide.

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