Un­wel­come visi­tors

Herald Sun - Motoring - - Comment - PAUL POTTINGER CARSGUIDE ED­I­TOR paul.pottinger@carsguide.com.au

BE­ING as he is of a sun­nier dis­po­si­tion than my­self, I’ve asked Paul Gover to pick his 10 most an­tic­i­pated new mod­els for 2014 — to­day’s cover story.

It is, as one would ex­pect of PG, an eclec­tic and in­sight­ful se­lec­tion, one that brooks lit­tle dis­sent. One looks for­ward to driv­ing all those he se­lects, even Ford’s Tran­sit Van — per­haps es­pe­cially that.

Many’s the time it’s struck me a light com­mer­cial ve­hi­cle is the best means of com­par­a­tively smart progress through city traf­fic. No one with their wits about them (which pre­cludes a great many ur­ban driv­ers) is apt to dally in front of a man in a white van. And load­ing zones are yours to park in.

The con­verse to PG’s se­lec­tion is, of course, the many ve­hi­cles we could do with­out, ones that aren’t worth the cater­ing and air­fares ex­pended on the launch pre­sen­ta­tion not even the nov­elty data sticks. Among th­ese are:

Mit­subishi At­trage — The model name is, we’re told, a port­man­teau of “At­trac­tive” and “Mi­rage”, this be­ing the not al­to­gether un­ec­ces­sary sedan ver­sion of the lat­ter. Talk about lead­ing with your chin. How about the Mit­subishi “Plen’t” —

as in “Please Don’t”. Here’s a thought: call it the Mi­rage Sedan.

Ford Fal­con/Ter­ri­tory — There’s an el­e­ment of the sur­real at play here — “re­launch­ing” two mod­els whose death sen­tence will have been pro­claimed more than a year prior. I s’pose cab­bies might ap­pre­ci­ate the Fal­con thing, that’s if Ford keeps grind­ing them out till then. One of those wes­bites that writes down ev­ery­ht­ing it’s told in­forms us the Ter­ri­tory up­grade keeps it “fresh through

its fi­nal years of pro­duc­tion” A few points: The Tezza is as fresh as sta­lag­mite. In car years it be­longs in the Juras­sic Carpark.

Toy­ota Corolla sedan — Are vene­tians for the rear win­dow stan­dard? See you at the bowls, Es­mee. Wait till the girls see those de­sign ac­cents “in­spired by the 86 sports car”.

Most things from China — Tired of be­ing told that Chi­nese cars are where Kore­ans were in com­par­a­tive terms 20 years ago? I am, be­cause it’s ir­rel­e­vant. Hyundai and Kia make the best Asia of­fers, China doesn’t. Sub­par qual­ity is no longer ac­cept­able at any pricepoint.

BMW X4 (pic­tured) — Ac­tu­ally not so much. At least it’ll be good for a laugh. Like the i3’s NCAP re­sult.

Audi A3 1.6 TDIe At­trac­tion Sport­back/Avant All­road Etron Crossover quat­tro — Just mak­ing that up, but it does seem hor­ri­bly al­most fea­si­ble. If Audi aligned its mul­ti­tude of barely dis­tin­guis­able vari­ants bumper to bumper, they’d ex­tend from Bondi to Cottes­loe beaches.

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