BEING as he is of a sunnier disposition than myself, I’ve asked Paul Gover to pick his 10 most anticipated new models for 2014 — today’s cover story.
It is, as one would expect of PG, an eclectic and insightful selection, one that brooks little dissent. One looks forward to driving all those he selects, even Ford’s Transit Van — perhaps especially that.
Many’s the time it’s struck me a light commercial vehicle is the best means of comparatively smart progress through city traffic. No one with their wits about them (which precludes a great many urban drivers) is apt to dally in front of a man in a white van. And loading zones are yours to park in.
The converse to PG’s selection is, of course, the many vehicles we could do without, ones that aren’t worth the catering and airfares expended on the launch presentation not even the novelty data sticks. Among these are:
Mitsubishi Attrage — The model name is, we’re told, a portmanteau of “Attractive” and “Mirage”, this being the not altogether uneccessary sedan version of the latter. Talk about leading with your chin. How about the Mitsubishi “Plen’t” —
as in “Please Don’t”. Here’s a thought: call it the Mirage Sedan.
Ford Falcon/Territory — There’s an element of the surreal at play here — “relaunching” two models whose death sentence will have been proclaimed more than a year prior. I s’pose cabbies might appreciate the Falcon thing, that’s if Ford keeps grinding them out till then. One of those wesbites that writes down everyhting it’s told informs us the Territory upgrade keeps it “fresh through
its final years of production” A few points: The Tezza is as fresh as stalagmite. In car years it belongs in the Jurassic Carpark.
Toyota Corolla sedan — Are venetians for the rear window standard? See you at the bowls, Esmee. Wait till the girls see those design accents “inspired by the 86 sports car”.
Most things from China — Tired of being told that Chinese cars are where Koreans were in comparative terms 20 years ago? I am, because it’s irrelevant. Hyundai and Kia make the best Asia offers, China doesn’t. Subpar quality is no longer acceptable at any pricepoint.
BMW X4 (pictured) — Actually not so much. At least it’ll be good for a laugh. Like the i3’s NCAP result.
Audi A3 1.6 TDIe Attraction Sportback/Avant Allroad Etron Crossover quattro — Just making that up, but it does seem horribly almost feasible. If Audi aligned its multitude of barely distinguisable variants bumper to bumper, they’d extend from Bondi to Cottesloe beaches.