DIANNE BUTLER OUT OF THE BOX
THREE stars for an episode of NCIS. Have I been sucking an ice pipe? No. But I have been ingesting an almost unrelieved diet of Australian cop shows and my resistance has been lowered, pummelled really, into the ground. Pretty sure that’s the case. I wouldn’t like to think NCIS has got better. I just prefer to believe my standards have eroded.
Tonight’s episode opens at a house that’s been foreclosed on, so the pool out the back— hot tub really — is the mankiest cesspit you’ve ever seen in your life. I s’pose the people had been letting their mortgage slide, time passes, nobody’s thinking about what kind of state the hot tub’s in, maybe it was winter . . . although wouldn’t you maybe use a hot tub in winter?
This one’s out in the middle of the flat, it’s not sheltered at all, which I thought seemed kind of odd. Ugly, anyway. And it’s 45cm deep. Does that seem too shallow to you? Kiddie pool shallow? It all seems wrong. And then— and I realise this might seem like I’m giving the plot away but honestly, why else are we even in these people’s former backyard — a dead body turns up. In the 45cm deep hot tub.
Hardly seems deep enough, you’d think. Although those ads always say you can drown in your bathtub.
Michael Weatherly: DiNozzo
Still, this is a grown man, with worms coming out every available hole. Or maybe he didn’t actually drown. Either way, the whole scene reminds DiNozzo of an episode of I Love Lucy.
Turns out the dead guy, Petty Officer 1st Class Edward Bick, was a total cleanskin, unblemished service record, two tours of Afghanistan, not an enemy in the world. I mean, other than the friends and family of the people he killed while on those two tours of Afghanistan obvi- ously. As things get moving, and isn’t this always the way when there’s something corrupt and not quite right, it becomes apparent the CIA are somewhere in the mix.
That’s a nice angle. Less satisfying is the way NCIS only ever singles out individual behaviour. It never criticises the system. NCIS Channel 10, 8.30pm