DIANNE BUTLER OUT OF THE BOX
IF YOU watched this show and you were in the wrong sort of mood it’s the kind of thing that’d make you want to maybe go out into a shopping mall and start committing violence. God, it’s vacuous.
I think the magazine shoot where Demi Moore is up a ladder feeding a giraffe is the silliest thing I’ve seen on TV in quite some time. And not only up a ladder, but wearing Alexander McQueen. Which actu- ally makes it somehow more acceptable. She has on a pair of those armadillo shoes from last season. You know the ones, everyone has them, apart from you or I or anyone we know. They’re incredible, insane, and have a 25cm heel. Actually it’s 25.4cm. Ten inches. Ten inches. That’s a lot of inches in just about anything but especially a heel.
Fashion is pointless a lot of the time but a giraffe? I ask you. She’s also on a huge chair at one stage, like really enormous. She doesn’t look happy. She looks thin and tiny. I guess that’s why they decided to use the world’s biggest chair. Not that Demi Moore isn’t thin and tiny at all times anyway.
Rachel Zoe’s reference here was Alice in Wonderland. Did she actually use the word whimsical or is that just the word I’m using now? Either way, pretty bloody elderly Alice in Wonderland.
But this is later. And it’s not even the biggest, most important thing that happens on the show tonight. Not that I’d be telling Demi Moore that if I saw her on the street.
It’s the ugly departure of Taylor Jacobson, Rachel’s styling associate and blessed jewel. That’s what Rachel is seen calling her in an emotional flashback during one of the show’s more harrowing moments tonight. Rachel says if she had kids, and something happened to her, she’d leave her kids to Taylor, because she’s her blessed jewel.
And Taylor’s like, I can’t be your blessed jewel because you’re my blessed jewel.
I wondered if Rachel actually got it the wrong way round, and meant to say if something happened to her she’d leave her her blessed jewels. Probably. The Rachel Zoe Project Arena, Foxtel/Austar, 8.30pm
Vacuous: Rachel Zoe