Herald Sun - Switched On - - Wednesday -

IF YOU watched this show and you were in the wrong sort of mood it’s the kind of thing that’d make you want to maybe go out into a shop­ping mall and start com­mit­ting vi­o­lence. God, it’s vac­u­ous.

I think the mag­a­zine shoot where Demi Moore is up a lad­der feed­ing a gi­raffe is the sil­li­est thing I’ve seen on TV in quite some time. And not only up a lad­der, but wear­ing Alexan­der McQueen. Which actu- ally makes it some­how more ac­cept­able. She has on a pair of those ar­madillo shoes from last sea­son. You know the ones, ev­ery­one has them, apart from you or I or any­one we know. They’re in­cred­i­ble, in­sane, and have a 25cm heel. Ac­tu­ally it’s 25.4cm. Ten inches. Ten inches. That’s a lot of inches in just about any­thing but es­pe­cially a heel.

Fashion is point­less a lot of the time but a gi­raffe? I ask you. She’s also on a huge chair at one stage, like re­ally enor­mous. She doesn’t look happy. She looks thin and tiny. I guess that’s why they de­cided to use the world’s biggest chair. Not that Demi Moore isn’t thin and tiny at all times any­way.

Rachel Zoe’s ref­er­ence here was Alice in Won­der­land. Did she ac­tu­ally use the word whim­si­cal or is that just the word I’m us­ing now? Ei­ther way, pretty bloody el­derly Alice in Won­der­land.

But this is later. And it’s not even the biggest, most im­por­tant thing that hap­pens on the show tonight. Not that I’d be telling Demi Moore that if I saw her on the street.

It’s the ugly de­par­ture of Tay­lor Ja­cob­son, Rachel’s styling as­so­ci­ate and blessed jewel. That’s what Rachel is seen call­ing her in an emo­tional flash­back dur­ing one of the show’s more har­row­ing mo­ments tonight. Rachel says if she had kids, and some­thing hap­pened to her, she’d leave her kids to Tay­lor, be­cause she’s her blessed jewel.

And Tay­lor’s like, I can’t be your blessed jewel be­cause you’re my blessed jewel.

I won­dered if Rachel ac­tu­ally got it the wrong way round, and meant to say if some­thing hap­pened to her she’d leave her her blessed jew­els. Prob­a­bly. The Rachel Zoe Project Arena, Fox­tel/Aus­tar, 8.30pm

Vac­u­ous: Rachel Zoe

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